🧨 #CryptoStocks — it's like marrying a stripper for spirituality.

Looks like you're in a suit, but it still smells like gambling addiction.

You wanted decentralization, but you bought a token with quarterly earnings.

Your “investment in the future” looks like a corporate party under the Moon and SEC reporting.

📉 “Innovations,” they say, while trading digital stocks as if it's NASDAQ with a TikTok face.

You're not a trader, bro… you're an office hamster in a crypto hat.

$COIN up? — you're a genius.

$COIN down? — well, it's just not your market.

And it goes around in circles until you realize you bought shares in a casino, where the chips are you.

💼 Want stability? Go retire.

Want x's? Stop believing in corporate DeFi.

CryptoStocks — it's when you're in crypto, but with a tie and a mortgage.