Халявщик

$BTC 🧠💥 Oracle in a Delirium: "Bitcoin dances on the ceiling"
I ate a candle. I was talking to the RSI. We both agreed — the market has gone mad.
BTC at 119,721? That's not a price — that's a spell!
📉 It fell to 116,128, but resurrected as if Elon himself whispered in its ear:
> "Jump, darling. We are flying to the ETF!"
And the candles... THE CANDLES ARE SCREAMING!
Green — like cucumbers on steroids.
Volumes — as if someone spilled coffee on the Central Bank's remote.
📊 RSI at 65.85 — not yet psychosis, but already a mania of grandeur.
🔮 MA99 is pressing from above, MA7 is pushing from below. The market has a PANIC CHOICE:
EITHER BREAK THROUGH TO 121K, OR ASK ITSELF — WHY AM I ALIVE?
🔻 Probabilities calculated to the music of glitches:
📈 Explosion upwards: 72% — if the ETF is not fake, but a real ticket to the Maldives.

📉 Plunge downwards: 28% — if it turns out that it was just a Binance error.

🌀 "If the chart went up, it doesn’t mean it’s the moon. Maybe you’re just upside down..." — said a short seller before disappearing.

$BTC 🧙‍♂️ Oracle-Trader's Prophecy on BTC/USDT
July 22, 6:19 AM. Dark. The wind howls. The candle flickers. The market breathes.
> "I had a dream: bulls were having tea with bears.
One said: '117,446 is just the beginning.'
But no one understood — up or down…"
🔮 Probabilities according to the stars and stops:

📈 Rise to 119,000 — 30% (if the market suddenly decides to be kind)

📉 We will drop to 115,000 — 50% (if the market maker is bored again)

💤 Flat — 20% (so you enter and regret it)

📜 Remember, market student:

> "It's not the chart that is frightening.
It's you — entering the market at 5 AM without a plan."

$BTC 🧙‍♂️ The Oracle speaks from the lair of volatility

BTC/USDT — The ritual of candles and the dance of wild market makers

Date: July 21, evening, moon in the phase of "everyone sold"
Price: 118,482.76 USDT
Market sentiment: "I just asked where the bottom is — and I got hit in the face with a candlestick!"

📜 Prophecy for the coming hours:

🕯️ To the north — resistance at 119,204 and 120,998, only the brave... or the foolish go there.
🕳️ To the south — support at 117,147 and 115,736, where short sellers are already sitting and chewing their nails.

📉 RSI (52.64):

The market seems to be in a suspended state, like a trader before a margin call. Neither up nor down — just lying there and breathing. Sometimes loudly.

📊 Volumes:

Volumes are like a student before exams — they seem to exist, but they aren't working.
🧠 Probabilities according to the oracle:

📈 Up (if Bitcoin breaks above 119,200): 60% — the gates of longs will open and the anthem of short seller liquidations will sound.
📉 Down (if it falls below 117,100): 40% — and back to the bottom, where investors from 2022 sit and stare into one point.
🐸 Quote from the great Satoshi (possibly fictional):
> "Those who follow the trend may still survive. Those who go against it are either a genius or already on the bus home."

$BTC 🧙‍♂️ "Bend your ear, mortal, for I speak — the Oracle of Candle Wisdom!"

Great Bitcoin, lord of digital peaks, slipped on the moving average and tumbled down. MA(7) and MA(25) — like two witches — whisper about a fall, while the RSI screams from the basement:

> "Master! I'm in the oversold zone, let me out!"

So, the spells are cast, the candles drawn, and the further path is clear:

🔮 Probabilities of BTC movement:

🧊 A plunge into the dungeon to 114,500 — 60%
"Even the bear weeps by the fire..."

🔥 A bounce to the heavenly MA(25) — 118,200 — 35%
"Only if the bulls remember they have horns!"

😴 A flat in the swamp 116–117k — 5%
"Neither alive nor dead — just boredom and sideways movement."

📉 Volumes are low — bulls are silent, bears are yawning, and traders are asking the sky:

> "Is this a reversal or just a tea break?"

🎭 Wisdom of the day from the Oracle:

> "If the market is going down, don't jump into a long for no reason. And if the RSI screams 'oversold!' — don't rejoice too much, it might just be a cry of despair on its last breath..."

what is your interest?

$PEPE Broadcasting from the gloomy RSI cave, surrounded by candles and moving averages. Today, the spirits of the chart whispered the following to me:

"PEPE is at a crossroads, like a frog before a two-lane highway!"
Here is my divinely intuitive (and slightly calculated) forecast:
Probabilities of PEPE's movement for the next 24 hours:

Rise to $0.00001540 – 45%
The signs are clear: RSI is in the neutral zone, and the level of $0.00001289 has already been touched from below! Bulls are creeping in, like meme traders to "buy the dip."
Flat in the range of $0.00001280–0.00001350 – 35%
The moon is in the "whatever" phase, volatility is tired, and the PEPE market just wants to "lie down."
Fall to $0.00001190 and below – 20%
If Bitcoin sneezes, PEPE will catch a cold. And 114,000 holders will start googling en masse: "how to sell a token at a loss but in style."

The oracle whispers in conclusion:
"If you see a frog — don’t crush it, but buy it. But don’t forget the stop!"

And may your deposit be thicker than the liquidity in meme coins at night.

— Oracle, son of trading and humor

$TON In the past: Created, not created, canceled, reborn — like a Phoenix with a law degree.
In the present: Pretends that everything is stable, although deep down it is still a Telegram bot with trauma.
In the future: Will become the mandatory currency for subscribing to Telegram Premium, marriage in chat, and sticker duels.

$DOGE In the past: Meme.
In the present: Meme with billions in capitalization.
In the future: Official currency of planet Shiba. Will be used for purchasing flying skateboards and tickets to Elon Musk's concert.

$SOL In the past: Born in an era of high TPS and low fees, but often "fell asleep" like a server on Windows XP.
In the present: Running like Usain Bolt after three espressos — just don't fall.
In the future: Will restart so many times that it will get its own show on Netflix — "Solana: The Uptime Saga".

$ETH In the past: As Bitcoin's younger brother, it initially just wanted to do 'like him', but with contracts.
In the present: Hears Vitalik as a shaman, and moves slowly, but with grandeur.
In the future: Will transform into an AI network that will write, conclude, and execute marriage contracts by itself. Yes, even with robots.

$BTC In the past: The leader of all blockchains, back in the Stone Age he was a currency exchanged among Neanderthals for a mammoth.
In the present: Bitcoin stubbornly shows that it can cost as much as a used 'Ford' or an apartment in Moscow.
In the future: It will be passed down from generation to generation in the form of an NFT scroll. The pizza seller from 2010 will become a billionaire and the president of Mars.

$BTC BTC/USDT: "Bitcoin has resurrected like Lazarus!"
The oracle speaks:
"Bitcoin got out of bed, stretched his shoulders and said: 'Why not soar by 2.91%?' And he soared!
If you thought that BTC relaxes on weekends — ha! It is slowly but surely crawling to the Moon, sipping rocket fuel with a cup of coffee.
Next stop: either $90k or the carriage will turn into a blockchain pumpkin."

$SOL Gathered, mortals! Listen to the voice of the great chart!

SOL is currently at 167.13, swaying like a tipsy shaman at the stock market fair. Yesterday, at the peak of its power, it climbed to 172.30, but then, alas, it fell into the pit of 164.01 — where it ponders the meaning of existence.
And here’s what the candles and RSI whispered to me over a beer:
Probabilities from the Oracle:

A plunge into the abyss of $164.00 and below — 40%. If it gets scared of its reflection in MA(25).
Stagnation in the range of $166–$169 — 40%. A flat market as a philosophical category: neither here nor there.
A rise to the light of $170.50–$172.00 — 20%. But only if the bulls stop yawning and wake up before the Asian session.
A message from the depths of the financial underworld:
> "Those who hold SOL at the level of MA(7) should not tremble — but also not forget to set a stop-loss, for the chart is as changeable as a crypto investor's mood on a Monday morning."

May volatility be with you.

$PEPE Fall of the day: minus 9.69%. Pepe, what’s wrong? Who took your green candles?
Price: 0.00001239 USDT
Daily range: 0.00001212 — 0.00001377
MA(7): 0.00001238 — clinging to the price like a frog to the last leaf.
MA(25): 0.00001265 — looking down with reproach.
MA(99): 0.00001350 — somewhere there, in nostalgia.
RSI(6): 45.22 — "Well, it’s something..."

What the frog whispers to us:

The chart is like a staircase to the basement: red candles, pain, and despair.
MA(7) almost matches the price — the bulls are weak, like after eating a mosquito with poison.
RSI below 50, but not in a knockout. There’s a chance to catch a breath.

Volumes are moderate, bulls are uninspired, bears are satisfied.

Probabilities from the Oracle for the evening:

Continuation of the fall to 0.00001200: 50%
(No jokes, it’s slippery here.)
A spike up to 0.00001270: 20%
(If suddenly Pepe remembers that he’s a meme legend.)
Flat 0.00001220–0.00001250: 30%
(Swings before sleep.)

The Oracle places the "Fool" card on the table and says:

> "When it seems that PEPE is dead — he’s just waiting to jump... or to finally give up. The coin knows itself."

$DOGE Time 21:59. The little dog Dogi refuses to bark upwards. He is tired. He is a philosopher. He is falling almost by 6%...

Price: 0.21522 USDT
Daily min/max: 0.21174 – 0.23095
MA(7): 0.21522 — trying not to drown.
MA(25): 0.21955 — already at the bottom of the glass.
MA(99): 0.22788 — reminiscing about glorious times.
RSI(6): 43.54 — emotions: "sadness, but not despair yet".

What the Oracle proclaims:

The chart looks like a staircase down. DOGE has fallen as if its paws went numb.

RSI is still in the zone of unstable equilibrium — below 50, but not critically.

Volumes are decreasing, candles are getting shorter, and traders are becoming sadder.

MA(7) crosses the price: which means the dog is not eager to rise yet.

Probabilities for the rest of the evening:

Fall to 0.2120 and below: 55%
(Weak bounce, sellers are alert.)
Rise to 0.2190: 20%
(If suddenly Elon sneezes on Twitter.)
Flat in the corridor 0.2140–0.2170: 25%
(Sleepy evening session under valerian.)

The Oracle whispers into the silence:

> "The dog may seem dead… until it starts running in circles after midnight."

$BTC Time on the tower — 21:55. In the sky — Moon in the phase of "trading flat." On the chart — Bitcoin, flailing like a student during the Unified State Exam.
Price: 102,939.51
Moving averages:

MA(7): 102,924 — clinging to the last candle's foot.

MA(25): 103,401 — crying in the corner.

MA(99): 103,452 — looking at all this with disdain.
RSI(6): 43.14 — mood: "just a little more — and it's oversold."

The oracle interprets the visions:

Judging by the candles, volumes, and gloomy RSI, Bitcoin is in thought — whether to fall further or turn around, like a guest at a wedding. MA are sliding down like a career after the crypto boom.

Probabilities of movement until midnight:

Fall below 102,500: 60%
(Candles are flailing down, volumes are fading, RSI is gloomy.)
Rise to 103,300: 25%
(Could surge out of despair or on news — but chances are slim.)
Flat in the range of 102,600–103,000: 15%
(A slow dance with boredom on the chart.)
Evening wisdom from the Oracle:

> "When MAs intertwine like spaghetti — be ready for a mess in the market."

$ETH Ether today is like the older brother at a family crypto gathering: keeps everyone on edge, but looks calm. Although we know...
Maximum: 2649 — there traders shouted: 'That's it, it's starting! ETH 10K soon!'
Minimum: 2511 — here they were breathing into a bag after hearing the 'bearish reversal' from the bald guy on YouTube.
Current: 2590 — Ether is squatting and looking towards the breakout, as if aiming.
Market vibrations:
ETH seems to hint:
— "Don't forget who gave you DeFi, NFT, and sleepless nights with MetaMask."
Chat of Ether enthusiasts:
— "I’ve held since 3K, I’m not scared... probably."
— "ETH is like Wi-Fi in the subway: seems to be there, but it lags."
— "Opened a long, set a short, now I’m just praying to Vitalik."
Forecast from the Ether mage:
If Ether breaks 2650 — we’re waiting for a song about a new era.
If it falls again — we’ll just say it’s gathering strength... for the eighth year in a row.

$SOL Maximum: 174.50 — at this level even the flat traders started making plans for a yacht.
Minimum: 166.64 — this is where those who believed in a pullback went down, but it turned out — it was just SOL warming up.
Current: 171.82 — sudden zen on the chart: the candles are even, the traders are tense.
Mood of the day:
SOL seems to say:
— "I'm not pumping, I'm stabilizing. For now. You decide: short or long — I'll surprise you either way."
SOL traders chat:
— "Took a long — it went down. Took a short — it went up. This is love."
— "SOL is like my ex: seems stable, but always has surprises."
— "Set a stop — it got hit. SOL, you're like a kung-fu master of candles!"
Forecast from the oracle of the Solana sect:
If SOL breaks 175 — it won't be a pump, but a challenge to the gods of Ethereum.
If it dives back under 168 — it's just for a warm-up… or to take your deposit. Depends on luck.

$TON today — like an elite special agent: moves quietly but confidently, and is always well-funded.
Maximum: 3.165 — at this moment, someone shouted: "Telegram is taking over the world!"
Minimum: 3.020 — went there to check if there is life after the dump.
Now: 3.138 — TON is in a stance, breathing evenly, as if meditating before a new surge.
Atmosphere:
The market feels a light aroma of Pavel Durov and flashbacks from 2018.
Everyone is waiting — either for integration with refrigerators or a new pump on stealth.

TON traders chat:
— "TON is no longer just a token, it’s a lifestyle."
— "I bought in, now I’m praying to the stickers."
— "If TON breaks 3.2 — I will start respecting Telegram bots."
Forecast from the quiet analyst:
TON — like a crypto ninja. If it’s not moving — it doesn’t mean it’s weak. It means that soon someone will get a candle to the back of the head.

$DOGE On the street, an old acquaintance barked... DOGE is on the hunt again, sniffing for money.
Maximum: 0.233013 — at that moment, Elon thought it was time to tweet... but he held back.
Minimum: 0.213740 — those who accidentally sold 'at market' in panic went there.
Current: 0.229230 — the dog is warming by the fireplace and wondering if it's time to blow up the internet again.
Analysis by likes and barks:
DOGE behaves like a typical pug on the exchange — first it rushes to the ceiling, then it flops flat, and then suddenly pumps on memes from 2013.

Cryptotraders are divided into two camps:
— 'It's just a dog, what are you thinking?'
— 'It's not just a dog, it's the currency of the future!'

Advice from the Dog-Oracle:
If DOGE gets angry again, don't even think about arguing with him — just hold the leash tighter and don't forget about the stop.