VaultKeeper DG

🟢 CRYPTO: EVENTS OF THE DAY
– Thursday, May 1
💰 Unlocking: Sui (#SUI🔥 ) at $265.64 million, ZetaChain (#zeta ) at $11.65 million, Bonk (#Bonk ) at $8.08 million – we are observing the trends! $BONK

🔗 THORChain ($RUNE) update to version v3.5.0 – more opportunities for users! $PENGU

🎤 Completion #token2049 in Dubai – we are following the resonant statements.

#AirdropSafetyGuide 🥸
"The trader is preparing the kettle while reading the #AirdropSafetyGuide.
— The kettle is boiling! — shouts the wife.
— Wait, I’m almost done with the token verification process!
— And then what?
— Well, if I make it, I’ll get the airdrop. If not — I’ll get a splash of boiling water from the kettle."

Moral: don’t forget about reality while dreaming of digital assets! 😄

#AltcoinETFsPostponed 🚂 "The trader is flying in his crypto car:
— Why so fast?
— Well, I was hoping for Altcoin ETFs, but they have been postponed, so now it's all gas and no brakes!
— And what are you doing?
— Testing endurance! If I survive, I'll be ready for the next market cycle."

#Trump100Days 🥸 "On the 100th day of Trump's presidency, farmers decided to give him buckets.
— Why are they empty? — asks Trump.
— Well, it's symbolic: they're as full as your promises!
— But they are golden!
— Yes, we knew you liked shiny things, even if there's nothing inside."

$BTC 🐽 🥸 🥸 Traders are looking at the pig that climbed up the tree:
— How did it get there?!
— It's probably like btc in 2021 – nobody knows how it skyrocketed so high.
— And now what?
— We're waiting for it to start falling, because, as always, climbing down is harder than going up.
$GALA

Moral: not every "rise" means a soft landing, even for a pig in a tree!" 🐷🌳

$BTC 🐽 🥸 🥸 Traders look at the pig that climbed a tree:
— How did it get up there?!
— It’s probably like $BTC in 2021 – no one knows how it soared so high.
— And what now?
— We wait for it to start falling because, as always, climbing down is harder than going up.

Moral: not every "ascent" means a soft landing, even for a pig in a tree!" 🐷🌳

#AirdropStepByStep 🐽 "The pig decided to take part in the airdrop. They tell him:
— First, subscribe to Twitter, then to Telegram, fill out the form and add your wallet.
Pig:
— Stop! I thought it would be easy… but this is a whole quest!
— Well, this is #AirdropStepByStep, not a free feeder.
— But I would at least like a feeder..."

Moral: even pigs in the crypto world need a plan! 😄 If you want anything else, I'm always happy to come up with something! 😊

#AbuDhabiStablecoin 🥸 The trader rides a camel through the desert with #AbuDhabiStablecoin in his crypto wallet.
Suddenly, an oasis appears, and another trader asks:
— Why did you bring this Stablecoin into the desert?
— Well, if I can keep it stable in the sands, then I can withstand it on the exchange!
— And what about the camel?
— The camel is also staking. It just holds on longer!

#ArizonaBTCReserve Arizona Governor boasts to Musk: "#ArizonaBTCReserve - our step into the future! Soon we'll be buying Tesla with bitcoins!". Musk smiles: "Interesting...". An average American asks: "But what if that bitcoin crashes again, what will happen to our reserve?". The Governor confidently says: "We have a plan! And cacti!". Musk nods: "Cacti are stable". The American mutters: "I hope the plan is better than my crypto investment...". #ArizonaBTCReserve - future or risk?

🟢 CRYPTO: EVENTS OF THE DAY
– Wednesday, April 30, $SUI

🚫 #Google introduces MiCA rules for crypto advertising in Europe – a new era of marketing!

🔗 #DTCC launches a blockchain platform for managing tokenized assets – a revolution in finance! $XEC

📊 S&P Global Manufacturing PMI (April) – important indicators of the manufacturing sector.
🛢 Crude Oil Inventory – the energy market under the microscope!

#AirdropFinderGuide A man in a helicopter is dropping leaflets AirdropFinderGuide. "Free tokens from the sky!" - he shouts. The dispatcher scolds: "It's dangerous! Stop!". Pilot: "It's marketing!". Dispatcher: "Come back before the police detain you for the 'airdrop'".

#TrumpTaxCuts 🐽🐽🐽 Three little piggies are sitting, watching the news about TrumpTaxCuts.
The first pig, who lives in a straw house, happily grunts:
* Wow! Taxes have been cut! Now I can buy even more straw! The house will be even stronger!
The second pig, who lives in a stick house, grumbles:
* Don't celebrate too soon! The wolf pays taxes too! He'll be able to buy even more sticks for his house! And he'll become even stronger!
The third pig, who lives in a brick house, calmly chews on an apple:
* I don't care. My house is made of bricks, no wolf can blow it down. And taxes... well, less tax means more apples. The main thing is that these "tax cuts" don't lead to roads being built from straw. Because then it will definitely be tough for all of us. Especially for those who live in brick houses - they'll have to drive on those straw roads. And let me tell you, that's not very convenient. And not very safe. Especially if the wolf is driving a truck made of sticks. Or, even worse, flying in a straw airplane. Then it will definitely not be a laughing matter for any of us regarding "tax cuts."

#XRPETFs
A crypto investor is sitting, eating a sandwich with sausage, and watching news about XRPETFs. Suddenly, the sausage falls from his sandwich. He sighs sadly: XRPETFs

🟢 CRYPTO: EVENTS OF THE DAY
– Tuesday, April 29

🔄 Injective (#INJ ) is updating its mainnet to version v1.15.0 – technology is moving forward! $INJ

🔗 Hedera (#hbar ) is testing its testnet in version 0.61 – preparing for big changes! $HBAR

#XRPETF An alien arrives on Earth, sees a nervous crypto investor on the street, who is constantly refreshing their phone screen.
The alien telepathically asks:
Earthling, what is causing your strong emotional fluctuation?
The investor, not taking their eyes off the screen:
* Well, I'm waiting for the XRP ETF! They say that as soon as it launches, the price of XRP will finally soar to the stars!
The alien, intrigued:
* "XRP ETF"? Is that some kind of your earthly flying machine? Is it taking so long to prepare for launch?
The investor sighs:
* No... it’s a financial instrument... well, to make money on XRP... if they finally allow it...
The alien scratches its green head:
* Strange. On Kryptonia, we simply buy intergalactic bonds. There, it’s clear when the "launch" is and what the "flight" is. But here you have some complicated "instruments" that can’t seem to "take off". Maybe you should try interplanetary mining? They say the profits are more stable there. Although... with your earthly "tariffs" on interstellar fuel... I don't know if it will turn out to be profitable. The main thing is that your "XRP ETF" doesn’t turn out to be a black hole for your savings. Because then you'll have to come to us on Kryptonia for financial assistance. And we have our own "courses" and "commissions".

#XRPETF 🥸 A user is sitting at the computer, trying to launch some program. A window pops up: "The program is not responding". The user nervously clicks the mouse.
A friend comes in and asks:
* Why are you so angry? Is Windows frozen again?
The user sighs:
* No... I'm waiting for that X R P. Everyone says that once it launches, my crypto portfolio will "unfreeze" and soar! But it still says "not responding" and "loading"... it's been like this for years!
The friend laughs:
* Well, you really compared it! Windows at least restarts sometimes, but your X R P... seems like it hasn't even been installed yet!
The user mumbles:
* I hope that when they finally "launch" it, it won't be as glitchy as some Windows updates. Otherwise, instead of "the promised land", we'll get another "blue screen of death" for the entire crypto market! The main thing is that the antivirus doesn't start blocking it as "potentially harmful software". Because then I would definitely have to wipe the whole system and switch to something more... "stable". For example, the good old Linux. At least there you know what to expect. Unlike this eternal "waiting for launch".
$SOL

🟢 CRYPTO: EVENTS OF THE DAY
– Monday, April 28

🔗 Volta updates the main network opBNB BNB – even more speed and efficiency! $BNB

🔄 Layer One X L1X launches the X-Talk update, which improves communication between blockchains. $NOT

💰 Plume (#plume ) unlocks $6.46 million – we are monitoring market movements!

$ETH 🥸 "The ETH trader is returning home after another drop in the exchange rate.
— What are those dirty shoes? — asks the wife.
— It's not dirt, it's a reflection of my investment decisions.
— Well, then wipe them with ETH, it's cheaper than detergent now!"
$GALA

#TariffsPause 🤣
Why is an ostrich egg perfectly suited for TariffsPause?
Because if the economy hatches correctly, something big and valuable can emerge from it — a new potential for business or trade. But if the hatching goes wrong, only the shell will remain — promises without real results! 🥚💼

#EthereumFuture 🪙
Why does the diver believe in #EthereumFuture?
Because even at the deep bottom, he knows that Ether will always rise higher! 🐠📈