**"Your Crypto Portfolio's Group Therapy Session"** 🛋️🤪

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**Bitcoin (BTC):**

*"The boomer uncle who keeps saying 'back in my day, we mined with potatoes'"* 🥔💰

*"I'm not slow - I'm *methodical* (also please ignore my 10% daily swings)"*

**Ethereum (ETH):**

*"The honor student who spends all your gas money on NFTs"* ⛽🖼️

*"Yes, transactions cost $100 - it's called *premium blockchain experience*"*

**Dogecoin (DOGE):**

*"The dropout who somehow became CEO"* 🎓🐕

*"1 DOGE = 1 DOGE (this is either financial wisdom or proof we've all gone mad)"*

**Shiba Inu (SHIB):**

*"That kid who copies DOGE's homework but changes the font"* 📝🐩

*"We burned 1 trillion tokens! (market cap went up 0.0001%)"*

**Solana (SOL):**

*"The athlete who breaks world records... when not napping"* 🏆😴

*"4000 TPS! (terms and conditions include occasional 12-hour timeouts)"*

**Cardano (ADA):**

*"The 'almost there!' kid who's been almost there since 2017"* 🏗️⏳

*"Smart contracts coming next quarter! (said every quarter since launch)"*

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**Altcoin Survivors Anonymous:**

• *"Hi, I bought a coin because the logo had a dragon"* 🐉

• *"I thought 'rug pull' was a new crypto workout trend"* 💪

• *"My investment strategy? What's that?"* 🤷‍♂️

**#CryptoShrink #HODLersAnonymous #SendHelpNotAlts**

💬 **Which coin needs an intervention?** 👇