#Bitcoin (BTC):**
*"The crypto dad who still talks about 'the good old days' of $100 BTC"* 👴📉
*"I'm not old, I'm *vintage* (also please ignore my 3am volatility)"*
#Ethereum (ETH):**
*"The over-caffeinated dev who keeps inventing problems to solve"* ☕🛠️
*"Yes, we're doing another upgrade! No, it won't fix your gas fees!"*
#Dogecoin (DOGE):**
*"The meme that won't die no matter how hard you try"* 🧟♂️🐕
*"1 DOGE = 1 DOGE (this is either profound or proof we've all lost it)"*
#Shiba Inu (SHIB):**
*"That kid who copies DOGE's homework but adds more zeros"* ✍️🐶
*"We burned tokens! (market response: *cricket noises*)"*
#Solana (SOL):**
*"The crypto jock who bench presses 4000 TPS... when awake"* 🏋️♂️😴
*"Network outage? Just performance art!"*
#Cardano (ADA):**
*"The 'any day now' coin that's been 'any day now' since 2018"* 📅👀
*"Smart contracts coming soon! (Charles Hoskinson seen crying in the club)"*
---
**Altcoin Anonymous Meeting:**
• *"Hi, I bought a coin because the logo had a moon"* 🌕
• *"I thought 'DYOR' meant 'Drink Your Own Rum'"* 🍹
• *"My trading strategy? What's that?"* 🤷♂️
**#CryptoMidlifeCrisis #HODLersAnonymous #SendMoonPlz**
💬 **Which coin is your problem child?** 👇