When thinking about mental health,
most of us would envision things that sound pleasant:
cheerful, calm, untroubled, unstressed.
In summary: the feeling of 'okay'.
But Dan Siegel — one of the leading minds in neuroscience and mindfulness — points out something even more important than positive emotions:
the flexibility of the mind.
He describes a healthy mind like a flowing river.
The stream flows gently between two banks:
One side is Structure — symbolizing discipline, stability, order.
The other side is Spontaneity — symbolizing creativity, freedom, and a bit of controlled madness.
Mental health doesn't come from clinging to one bank.
Which comes from your ability to 'drift' between both.
Flexible — not fixed.
Movement — not stuck.
The problem is: most of us let our river overflow without even realizing.
I have a friend who schedules every minute.
He bullet points everything.
From the moment I sleep, to the moment... I eat gum.
Success? Yes.
Exhaustion? Not lacking.
His inner tension is like a guitar string always pulled tight — just waiting to snap.
Another friend lives completely the opposite.
Waking up each day not knowing what I will do.
Full of spontaneity, with 'life must be chill'.
But she always comes back with a familiar expression:
lost direction, confusion, anxiety lingering without clear reason.
As for me... I have gone through both.
There was a time I lived like a machine.
Scheduling each step, controlling every detail.
Effective? Yes.
But I find myself living... for someone else.
Then I turned 180 degrees.
Discard all plans.
Living impulsively.
The result?
A string of chaotic, ineffective, and more exhausting days than when 'having a plan'.
In the end, I realized:
There is no wrong side.
But being stuck on one side for too long — is truly wrong.
A healthy mind is one that knows when to discipline and when to break the rules.
Knowing when to sit still and work, and when to stand up and dance in the living room.
Knowing when to control, and when to let go.
Happiness does not lie in absolute stability.
Which lies in the intentional flexibility between two seemingly opposing states.
So, if you are feeling exhausted, disconnected,
or simply having a vague feeling that 'something is wrong' —
look into your river.
Have you been stuck on one bank for too long?
Which side do you lean towards more?
And...
what small thing can you do today to make your psychological flow more flexible, freer — and truly healthier?
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