ETH: Whales accumulate, Justice gives tariffs a "delete" 🐳✂️

Fresh news: Courts have blocked Trump's tariffs — ETH jumped +8% in 4 hours. The joke? "Our protection is at the protocol level."

Paradoxical weekly statistics:

- Current price: $2,552 (▲14% compared to last month)

- Volatility: 30.27% — we're playing Russian roulette with ASICs 🎲

- Cities accept ETH for slot machines 🎰✝️

The former "rat poison" is valid currency even at Blackjack. Satoshi laughs, Vitalik upgrades.

3 dilemmas for holders with dark humor:

1. ETFs have turned ETH into a "decaf Titanic" ☕

- Institutions hold 5% of the supply. Volatility? It's become a memory.

- Old HODL-ers watch charts like a soap opera without death episodes.

2. Whales: "We buy ETH like it's on Black Friday sale" 🐳💸

- Wallets with 1k-10k ETH have accumulated +2M ETH in 6 months.

- James Wynn (the one with the $1.1B bet on BTC) is now "diamond hands" involuntarily.

3. Pectra upgrade vs. global inflation 🔧📉

- Paying fees in tokens ≠ USD? But if the FED cuts interest rates, does ETH become a lifebuoy or just another failed DeFi experiment?

Prophecies of the month (with sarcasm):

- Bullish: $3,171 by July — "BARR Bottom breakout" sounds like a cocktail, but it's real

- Bearish: ▼ $2,349 if the tariff war returns — Miners emigrate to Antarctica for cheap energy ⛏️❄️

- Absurd: SEC accepts fine in Dogecoin. When will they accept ETH for debt payment to the Web3 Loan Shark? 💸

Questions for debate:

- When does "base blockchain" become synonymous with "the whale that brings free lunch"? 🔧

- If the court rolls back tariffs, will $ETH jump or get lost in Iranian FUD?

- Buy now or wait to be "undercut" by US inflation? 🔮

The crypto market is a laboratory: clowns are paid in gwei, and we read the results on Etherscan. Discuss freely among test tubes. 🧪