Bitcoin in 2025: The "weird" cycle where ETFs consume supply, and miners flee.
Breaking news: BTC fell to $102,800 after Iran-Israel rockets 💣, then bounced back like a bullet in a day. We call it "dipsday". Traditionalists scream "WAR!" – Whales are quietly buying it.
3 Realities distorted by dark humor:
1. ETFs have turned Bitcoin into a "decaf Titanic" ☕
- BlackRock and Fidelity hold 5% of the total supply.
- Volatility? It has become a sweet memory. The halving cycle is now "mature and sober".
- The joke: Old HODLers watch charts like a soap opera without death episodes.
2. Treasury companies: Michael Saylor is the new Icarus 🕯️
- MicroStrategy holds $41 billion in BTC.
- Grim prophecy: "If BTC drops 80%, these firms turn into liquidation pumps."
- Irony: They buy BTC to avoid bankruptcy... but assume bankruptcy if BTC drops.
3. Geopolitics is the new "provider of dips" 🎢
- Israel-Iran war = $1 billion liquidations in 24h.
- The US debt of $37 trillion is a ticking time bomb next to which BTC seems like a lighter 💣.
- Satoshi laughs: "You have 21 million coins, but 4,000 wallets own it all."
Prophecies for 2026 (with sarcasm):
- SEC approves "Lambo token": You pay fines in memecoins 💸
- Miners emigrate to Antarctica: China imposes blocks, and ASICs drink iced tea ⛏️❄️
- Ross Ulbricht launches NFTs from prison: His prison ID sold for 5.5 BTC ($600k).
Questions that highlight the absurdity:
- When does "digital gold" become "fool's gold"? Gold jumped to $3,444, BTC dances on a volcano.
- If the FED cuts interest rates, is $BTC a lifebuoy or just another race into a black hole? 🕳️
- Do retirees become "diamond hands" without knowing what it means? 👴💎
The market is a circus: clowns are paid in satoshi, and the rules are written by the God of FUD. Discuss freely under the tent.🎪