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EIIRP SUE HDG aka 1st Amish Trader
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"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's yield... unless it's staked at 12% APY."
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EIIRP SUE HDG aka 1st Amish Trader
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BREAKING: New Pope Accidentally Causes Crypto Market Boom Panic turned to profit this morning as the newly elected Pope, during his first blessing, reportedly raised both hands and unintentionally formed the bull horns gesture. Within minutes $BTC Bitcoin surged 12% $ETH Ethereum lit a virtual votive candle And a new meme coin — $PopeCoin — was born, baptized, and listed on 7 exchanges Analysts are calling it "divine market intervention", while skeptics insist it was just a gesture for peace... or maybe price discovery. When asked about the surge, His Holiness simply replied: "Let there be light... volume." #PopeLeoXIV
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Breaking: Vatican to Launch HolyCoin In a divine twist no prophet saw coming, the Vatican has reportedly announced plans to launch its own cryptocurrency: HolyCoin — the only coin with built-in forgiveness for failed trades. Sources say the new Pope sees blockchain as “God’s ledger, but decentralized.” Key features include: Proof of Faith consensus mechanism Miracle-based staking Weekly confession airdrops for sinners holding meme coins Rumors swirl that the first NFT will be a holographic bread-and-wine combo titled “Last Supper: Deluxe Drop.” Truly, the Lord works in mysterious protocols. #TradeOfTheWeek #PopeLeoXIV
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Who is 1st Amish Trader?
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$PAXG is the most difficult trading asset in the observable universe...
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#BTCBreaks99K The Worst Bitcoin Predictions: A Philosophical Tragedy in Four Acts 1. “Bitcoin is going to zero.” Said every economist in 2014 with a necktie tighter than their imagination. Result: $BTC hit $99,000 while they rebalanced their pension funds. 2. “It’ll never break $1,000.” A confident tweet from 2013, now archived as poetic fossil fuel. Even Diogenes wouldn’t have predicted such radiant irony. 3. “Governments will shut it down.” A timeless classic. Like saying “the sea will obey.” Socrates would’ve called it hubris. We just call it “copium.” 4. “It’s just a phase.” So is life. So was the Enlightenment. So was MySpace. And yet, here we are — still trading, still memeing, still stacking sats. Bitcoin isn’t perfect. It’s chaotic and full of regrets.But every bad prediction about it was a reminder: we understand the future best when we laugh at our past certainties.
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