#FOMCMeeting The Fed just wrapped up their latest meeting—and let’s be real: the only thing climbing faster than interest rates was Powell’s blood pressure when someone whispered “soft landing.”
Wall Street traders: “No rate cut? To the moon, baby!”
Powell, unbothered: “Did I stutter?”
Millennial homeowners: “So… time to refinance?”
The Fed: “Yeah, that’s a hard no.”
Current Market Vibes:
📈 Stocks: Feeling themselves, strutting like it’s 2021
💼 Bonds: Entering full midlife crisis mode
₿ Crypto: Throwing a wild bull party—DJ Bitcoin spinning at $94K
🥇 Gold: Calm, collected, zen master mode
📉 Recession: Still chilling in the lobby flipping through 2019 magazines
Powell’s press conference in a nutshell:
“We’re doing what’s necessary.”
Translation: We’re winging it—with vibes and fancy charts.
Let’s be honest—FOMC meetings are now like the Netflix crossover of Market Mayhem, FedSpeak 101, and Gen Z vs Wall Street.
Next episode drops June 18.
Bring snacks. And maybe a macroeconomics therapist.
