**Bitcoin (BTC):**
*"The grandpa who won’t stop flexing about being 'digital gold' while doing 30% swings before breakfast."* 🏋️♂️💸
**You:** *"Store of value?"*
**BTC:** *"More like store of chaos."*
**Ethereum (ETH):**
*"The overachiever who invented smart contracts but forgot to make them affordable."* ⛽😤
**You:** *"Why is gas $500?"*
**ETH:** *"Because I *can*."*
**Dogecoin (DOGE):**
*"The meme that became a top 10 crypto and still doesn’t know why."* 🐕🤷♂️
**You:** *"What’s your use case?"*
**DOGE:** *"1 DOGE = 1 DOGE. Boom. Whitepaper."*
**Shiba Inu (SHIB):**
*"DOGE’s little brother who burns tokens like it’s his job (it is)."* 🔥👶
**You:** *"When moon?"*
**SHIB:** *"After we burn *one* more zero…"*
**Solana (SOL):**
*"The speed demon who occasionally takes naps mid-transaction."* ⚡😴
**You:** *"Why’d the network halt?"*
**SOL:** *"Needed a quick coffee break."*
**XRP:**
*"The courtroom drama queen who’s been ‘winning the case’ for 84 years."* 👩⚖️🎭
**You:** *"When will this end?"*
**XRP:** *"When the SEC runs out of paper."*
---
**Altcoin Reality Check:**
- **You:** *"This is the next Bitcoin!"*
- **Coin:** *"I’m actually a fork of a fork of a meme."*
- **Your portfolio:** *"Why am I like this?"*
**#CryptoConfessions #HODLHumor #SendHelp**
💬 **Which coin a
re you in a toxic relationship with?** 👇