**Bitcoin (BTC):**

*"The grandpa who won’t stop flexing about being 'digital gold' while doing 30% swings before breakfast."* 🏋️‍♂️💸

**You:** *"Store of value?"*

**BTC:** *"More like store of chaos."*

**Ethereum (ETH):**

*"The overachiever who invented smart contracts but forgot to make them affordable."* ⛽😤

**You:** *"Why is gas $500?"*

**ETH:** *"Because I *can*."*

**Dogecoin (DOGE):**

*"The meme that became a top 10 crypto and still doesn’t know why."* 🐕🤷‍♂️

**You:** *"What’s your use case?"*

**DOGE:** *"1 DOGE = 1 DOGE. Boom. Whitepaper."*

**Shiba Inu (SHIB):**

*"DOGE’s little brother who burns tokens like it’s his job (it is)."* 🔥👶

**You:** *"When moon?"*

**SHIB:** *"After we burn *one* more zero…"*

**Solana (SOL):**

*"The speed demon who occasionally takes naps mid-transaction."* ⚡😴

**You:** *"Why’d the network halt?"*

**SOL:** *"Needed a quick coffee break."*

**XRP:**

*"The courtroom drama queen who’s been ‘winning the case’ for 84 years."* 👩⚖️🎭

**You:** *"When will this end?"*

**XRP:** *"When the SEC runs out of paper."*

---

**Altcoin Reality Check:**

- **You:** *"This is the next Bitcoin!"*

- **Coin:** *"I’m actually a fork of a fork of a meme."*

- **Your portfolio:** *"Why am I like this?"*

**#CryptoConfessions #HODLHumor #SendHelp**

💬 **Which coin a

re you in a toxic relationship with?** 👇