🤯 Crypto Survival Guide: Profit in ANY Market
1️⃣ Play Both Sides Like a Pro
“Long when it pumps, short when it dumps!”
- LONG = Buy low, sell high (🚀 when Elon tweets).
- SHORT = Profit from chaos (cough LUNA crash cough).
Meme Wisdom: “I trust DOGE more than my ex.”
2️⃣ Altcoins: Bitcoin’s Wild Little Siblings
Bitcoin stuck? Altcoins go BRRRR!
- Example: BTC naps at $30K → PEPE pumps 69% overnight.
- Meme Alert: “DOGE hits $0.20? Time to sell my fridge.”
3️⃣ Trade the Drama (CEX Exploits, Token Launches)
“Buy the rumor, sell the news… or short it!”
- Macro News: CPI data, Fed rates → Market-wide panic.
- Crypto Chaos: Binance lists a meme coin → FOMO to the moon.
4️⃣ When in Doubt, ZOOM OUT
“No trade > bad trade. *Ask my portfolio from 2022.”
- If signals clash (RSI says buy, MACD says cry), STAY OUT.
- Pro Tip: Touch grass. The charts will wait. 🌱
🔥 Comment your DOGE price target!
🚨 Follow me for memes + profit hacks!
