Title: So You Wanna Be a Crypto Hero? A Hilarious Beginner's Guide to Taking Over the Blockchain World (Mini but Mighty Edition)

Step 1: Crypto 101 – What Are You Even Buying?

Crypto’s like Pokémon, but for adults with internet access. Bitcoin? Digital gold. Ethereum? The coding wizard's paradise. Altcoins? Everything from serious tech to meme-fueled madness.

Step 2: Pick Your Exchange – Avoid Sketchy Castles

You need a crypto supermarket. Binance = Walmart of crypto. Coinbase = Apple Store. Don’t use a janky site with 9 pop-ups and a logo made in MS Paint.

Step 3: Thou Shalt Not FOMO

Just because TikTok says “BUY NOW,” doesn’t mean it’s true. Buying after it already pumped? That’s like showing up to a party after everyone left... with your grandma.

Step 4: Meet the Candlesticks

Green = happy. Red = ouch. Welcome to technical analysis, where we all pretend we’re stock market wizards. Start with RSI and MACD (don’t worry, they’re not sandwich names).

Step 5: Know Thy Trading Style

  • HODLer: Buys and disappears for years. Possibly in a cave.

  • Scalper: Makes 23 trades before lunch.

  • Swinger (wait, not like that): Rides the market waves.

  • Bot Lord: Lets AI do the dirty work.

Step 6: DYOR – Do Your Own Reconnaissance

If someone says “this coin will 100x,” run. Research the project: Does it solve a problem? Have real devs? Or is it just another rug wrapped in hype?

Step 7: Get a Wallet – Keep Your Bags Safe

Use hot wallets (Metamask) for speed, cold wallets (Ledger) for safety. Never screenshot your seed phrase. Or store it in “passwords.txt.”

Step 8: Don’t YOLO Your Rent

Rule 1: Risk only what you’re cool losing.

Rule 2: Diversify. Don’t bet the farm on one coin, unless you enjoy tears and ramen.

Step 9: Track Your Trades (Even the Cringy Ones)

Keep a trading journal. Log why you bought, what happened, and what you learned.

Bonus: Add memes to ease the pain.

Step 10: Join the Chaos Club

Join Discords, Twitter/X Spaces, Reddit. Learn the slang: FUD, GM, WAGMI. You’ll laugh, cry, and maybe make friends who also panic-buy NFTs at 3AM.

Final Words of Wisdom

Crypto is wild. You’ll lose some, win some, and meme through the madness. Stay humble, stay learning, and above all—don’t trust Chad’s altcoin

The Degen's Code of Honor:

  • Never chase green candles.

  • Cold wallet > Hot mess.

  • Don’t follow influencers with rented cars.

  • Trade responsibly, meme aggressively.