**"Your Crypto Portfolio's Therapy Session"** 🛋️😅

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**Bitcoin (BTC):**

*"The OG grandpa who judges your altcoin addiction while eating digital gold caviar"* 👴🍽️

*"I'm not volatile - I'm *liquid*"*

**Ethereum (ETH):**

*"The overachiever who keeps charging $500 for a $5 transaction"* ⛽💸

*"Yes I'm expensive - I'm basically the Gucci of crypto"*

**Dogecoin (DOGE):**

*"The class clown who accidentally became valedictorian"* 🎓🤡

*"1 DOGE = 1 DOGE (this is either deep wisdom or proof I belong in a meme museum)"*

**Shiba Inu (SHIB):**

*"DOGE's little brother who won't stop burning his allowance"* 🔥👶

*"We burned three zeros!... then found two of them again"*

**Solana (SOL):**

*"The track star who keeps tripping over their own shoelaces"* 🏃💨

*"99.9% uptime! (The 0.1% was during the Super Bowl)"*

**Cardano (ADA):**

*"The 'we have Ethereum at home' kid still waiting for smart contracts to be cool"* 🏠⏳

*"My time will come! (Charles Hoskinson sobbing in background)"*

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**Altcoin Anonymous Meeting:**

• *"Hi, I'm [REDACTED] and I bought a coin because of a TikTok dance"*

• *"I thought 'rug pull' was a new yoga position"* 🧘‍♂️

• *"My exit strategy? You guys have those?"* 🚪🏃‍♂️

**#CryptoTherapy #HODLersAnonymous #SendLambo**

💬 **Which coin needs the most counseling?** 👇