#Trump: I Love $TRUMP

"The Trump Coin Revelation: Love Him, Short Him"

Dear crypto friends, when Trump typed "I love $TRUMP" on social media, my phone was instantly bombarded with liquidation alerts—it was like an earthquake of Parkinson's—after all, this old man’s words are quicker than a sickle in the hands of Sun Ge.

I still remember three months ago, on the first day of Emperor Trump’s reign, he launched the TRUMP coin, starting at $0.18, skyrocketing 15,000% to $75 within 12 hours, with a market value of $80 billion, almost rivaling McDonald's. At that time, many retail investors shouted, "With Emperor Trump ascending, the bull market returns quickly," but three days later the coin price was halved, and now it's dropped to $14, perfectly illustrating the magical realism of “Make America Zero Again.” Just yesterday, a stubborn whale smashed $5 million into a bet three minutes after Trump’s announcement, only to tearfully cut losses an hour later, with $197,000 turning into vapor on the blockchain—this isn’t trading coins; it’s clearly paying protection money to Trump’s campaign fund!

If we talk about the strongest influencer in the crypto circle, Trump would be second, even Musk wouldn’t dare claim first. The day before yesterday, he announced five mainstream coins entering strategic reserves, and Bitcoin instantly surged to $94,000, while Cardano had a daily increase of 70%, more thrilling than “Boruto.” But a closer look at the White House documents reveals that the strategic reserves rely entirely on confiscated bitcoins from hackers; the Treasury didn't even approve a budget for buying coins, it's purely talk to pump the market. Even more outrageous is Emperor Trump’s AI czar, David Sachs, who hosted the summit while frantically promoting SOL—this political-business revolving door would make even Vitalik shout 'insider.'

Now, there are only two survival tips in the crypto world: first, ambush SOL-based dog coins before Trump tweets, after all, the AI bigwig in the White House is heavily invested; second, when you see TRUMP coin skyrocketing, quickly go short, as this thing is more exciting than a delisted stock from Myanmar A. I heard that the White House summit on the 7th will be another scythe moment, so I suggest everyone prepare some fast-acting heart-saving pills in advance—after all, when the White House becomes a vegetable greenhouse, you never know if the next wave of organic fertilizer will be dovish rate cuts or if Trump suddenly announces military spending will be settled in Dogecoin.

Lastly, a warm reminder: cherish life, stay away from Meme coins. If you must gamble, I suggest donating directly to Trump’s campaign—at least if you lose, you can still deduct it from taxes. $SOL