📉 Breaking News: My Portfolio is Leading the Recession! 📉
While $BTC is busy flexing a 5.51% gain, my cumulative PNL is proudly sitting at -1.89%—because why follow the market when you can create your own trend? 🚀👇
Today's loss? A legendary $0.03. Enough to make billionaires shake in their boots. At this rate, I’ll need a government bailout before my morning coffee ☕.
Might as well start a petition for a BTC stimulus package—because if institutions get bailouts, why not me? 🫠