$1.12 — The portfolio just pulled a plot twist worthy of a Bollywood climax.

Today's PNL: +$0.0014 (+0.13%) — Not much, but hey, it’s still greener than my ex’s promises.

The graph was sleeping all day and then suddenly said, “Let me show you who's boss” — straight spike like it drank 3 energy drinks at once.

Don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m still here acting like I #MastertheMarket

Fake it till you make it, right?