2025 Cryptocurrency Diving Awards Ceremony #比特币价格走势分析

Dear Bitcoin, Solana, XRP project teams: Congratulations on taking the top three spots in the "Cryptocurrency Diving Championship"! Let's use the freshest tears of retail investors to create a 24K pure gold diving platform for you all.

Bitcoin: The Self-Cultivation of a Digital Coffin

This once "digital gold" now perfectly exemplifies what it means to "dive deep into the cryptocurrency circle." In January, it was still at $109,000, enjoying its nobility, but now at $88,294, even the coffin board is leaking air, with an 11% drop that makes gold ETFs laugh like donkeys. Where is the promised "anti-inflation artifact"? This trend is clearly more exciting than the Venezuelan currency! I suggest Satoshi Nakamoto change the "peer-to-peer electronic cash" in the white paper to "peer-to-peer cremation express service," as every candlestick is sending the faith to its end.

Solana: High-Flying Fallen Performance Artist

Bearing the nickname "Ethereum Killer," I leaped off the high platform at $300, and now at $138, the price just happens to be stuck on the grave line of technical analysis—$143 above is a resistance gravestone, and $130 below is a support coffin, perfectly illustrating what it means to be a "living dead coin." What's even more absurd is that the total value locked (TVL) rose to $4.2 billion, but the coin price still drops faster than the mining shutdown price. I suggest changing the official slogan to "Solana: The more locked, the happier the dive." Those analysts who boast about "breaking $150" should collectively change careers to sell parachute packs.

XRP: Special Guest of the Legal Channel

The only one who can turn cryptocurrency into a segment on "Today's Law" is none other than Ripple. Once at $3.5 as the "bank killer," now at $2.3, it barely covers the coffee money for the lawsuit lawyers. The SEC's fines are more dramatic than your candlestick patterns! Where is the promised $4.16 by the end of 2024? This trend would make even the Myanmar North telecom fraud group exclaim in admiration. I suggest Ripple's legal department switch to planning funeral services, as the price trend is just like a "elevator to hell."

Retail Investor Survival Guide (2025 Revised Edition)

Please execute the following actions immediately: uninstall trading software, blacklist analysts, recite the "Rebirth Mantra." After all, in the cryptocurrency circle of 2025, being alive to receive a liquidation email is already the last mercy bestowed upon us by the wise king.