Author: proAndy, that is me, don’t judge too harshly ;) I read the forecasts and was inspired to write a short story. All characters are fictional.👇👇👇
The crypto guru (former mattress seller) went live just as Bitcoin fell by 10%.
— «Friends! I told you — it's just a correction!» — he shouted, pointing at the chart where just yesterday the inscription ‘$BTC $120K to the MOON’ was displayed.
Someone in the chat reminded: — «But you advised buying everything yesterday and forgetting about the stop…»
The guru, without batting an eye: — «That was a test! Only intellectuals watch me, and the rest just misunderstood! Buy my course 'How to Properly Understand Gurus in 3 Days.'»
The next day $BTC rose by 5%. The guru is live again, now in a shirt that says ‘I predicted Bitcoin in 2005’:
— «I told you — this is a bullish flag! Do you see this candle? This is the 'Satoshi Kiss' pattern!»
The chat objects: — «This is just a regular impulse on the news…»
The guru interrupts: — «Questions — after the course! Only $99, and I will teach you to see secret patterns!»
On the chart, he draws a unicorn and writes: ‘Here we are flying to the Moon. Or to the bottom. It all depends on your faith.’ — by the way, don't forget to like.
When the market is all red again and everything is falling, the guru posts a video with a mountain landscape and a wise phrase:
— «I told you — diversify! Buy the course 'How to Sell $BTC Before the Drop.' And yes, it's your fault.»
In the comments, someone is sarcastic: — «Where are the promised $120K?»
The guru remains unflappable: — «The market is always opportunities. Buy my course 'How to Buy on Time.'» And yes, don’t forget to subscribe.
#BTCUSDT #BTC #MarketPullback #BitcoinReserveWave #BTCBullRun2025
