#💖 Crypto Market Acting Like a Drama Queen Again… 💖
Babes, stop panicking 🤭 let’s sip some tea ☕ and roast the dump together 👇
🌸 Options Expiry → $23B in BTC & ETH options expiring. Whales? Just being toxic exes dragging us to “max pain.” 🙄
🌸 US Shutdown → 67% chance by Oct 1. Like seriously? Even the gov can’t get its act together 😩
🌸 Strong GDP → 3.8% vs 3.3% expected. Cute for the economy, ugly for our bags. Rate cuts? Not today, bestie. 🐻
🌸 Retail Longs → Y’all overleveraged again 💔 Liquidations everywhere. Babe, when will you learn? 😏
✨ Plot twist though… ✨
👑 Whales just scooped 295,861 ETH ($1.19B)
👑 First ETH ETF with staking is about to land
So yeah, the dump is noisy… but the glow-up is loading 💅 Next runway: BTC & ETH serving diva energy 🚀👠
