You're grown up, so stop exaggerating a bit.

I lost 80k because of the future... now there's only 1k left. Start to discipline, trade small volumes, cut stop loss when necessary. As long as there's money, there are opportunities, whether the amount is small or large.
Motto: If you earn 100$ in one day, then in one month you'll earn 3000 $. In one year, you'll have 36000 $.