đż(How a Revolution Was Sacrificed at the Altar of Meme Coins)
Commandment I: "Fundamentals Are for Boomers"
2010 Creed:Â "Verify the cryptography. Read the whitepaper."
2024 Mantra:Â "The chart has a bullish flag! Also, what's a whitepaper?"
Then:Â Bitcoiners debated Merkle trees and inflation resistance.
Now:Â Degens worship a meme coin because "the dog looks high, bro."
Reality Check:Â The most "fundamental" analysis today is counting how many crypto influencers posted rocket emojis.
Commandment II: "Privacy Is Suspicious * Leverage Is God"
Using Monero? "Sounds like drug money."
Trading 100x Leverage? "This is financial innovation!"
Irony Meter:
Privacy = "Shady" (But your KYCâd exchange knows your SSN and porn habits).
Blowing up your account on a futures trade = "Part of the game."
Sheep Logic:Â "Why hide from governments when I can YOLO my rent money on a Shiba Inu derivative?"
Commandment III: "Trust the Dumbest Possible Investment"
Project Requirements for Modern Crypto Sheep:
â
No GitHub
â
Anonymous team (or "doxxed" via a blurry JPEG)
â
Tokenomics designed during a meth binge
â
Roadmap: "Vague partnerships" and "CEX listings soon"
Retail Reaction:Â "This is the one! I feel it in my gamblerâs bones!"
THE AFTERMATH: A GENERATION OF EXIT LIQUIDITY
Stage 1: Denial
"XRP will replace SWIFT! The banks are using it any day now!"
Stage 2: Bargaining
"Okay, the devs rugged, but if we shill harder, we can pump it back!"
Stage 3: Financial Sepp-uku
"I canât believe the SEC froze my assets for trading an unregistered security shitcoin. THIS IS TYRANNY!"
HOW TO SURVIVE THE CRYPTO APOCALYPSE
Burn Your Shitcoins
Send your XRP, PEPE, and other hopium bags to a burn address.
Epitaph:Â "Here lies my IQ * lost in a memecoin telegram chat."
Go Full Cyberpunk
Bitcoin in cold storage.
Monero for payments.
P2P trades only.
KYC? "Never met her."
Enjoy the Show
Watch the "This was always about adoption!" crowd panic when CBDCs freeze their "DeFi" wallets.
Screenshot their tweets for future meme material.
EPITAPH FOR THE DEGENS
"You were given the tools to escape financial tyranny.
You used them to gamble on cartoon feces.
Rest in Rekt."
Want a survival guide? Too late. You shouldâve been reading Satoshi instead of shitposting.
(Mic drop. Wallet secured. Good luck, sheep.)
FOR THE 0.1% STILL AWAKE
The revolution always belonged to those who didn't need to be told.
(The rest of you: see you at the CBDC rollout party. Dress code: bagholder chic.)