#CryptoCharts101 : The Lines That Make You Cry Money 📉
"Crypto charts are coloring books for sad adults: if an 'ascending triangle' excites you, you're already on the right path to therapy."
🔍 3 Indicators That Don't Lie (Too Much)
1. RSI (Relative Strength Index):
- >70 = Overbought (it's like a balloon inflated too much – get ready for "🧨pooock🪤").
- <30 = Oversold (buy now or cry later when it shoots up).
- Joke: "The RSI is like a father-in-law – when it screams 'EXTREME!', pay attention!"
2. MACD (Moving Average Convergence Divergence):
- Blue line > red = Buy signal ("The bear is off shopping").
- Inverse crossover = Sell or hide your wallet.
- Warning: Don't confuse with "McDrive" – that just makes you crave trading at night.
3. Support/Resistance:
- Support = The price where buyers appear like superheroes (until it breaks, and they become victims).
- Resistance = The level where sellers dance on the ruins of your optimism.
☠️ Final Joke:
"What do you learn from charts? That 'hodl' is just an excuse for those who don't know how to read a slanted line."
🛡️ Golden Rule:
If the chart looks like Dracula's EKG (sharp peaks, sudden drops), run! Or grab some popcorn and watch the show.
⚠️ Warning: Charts are not fortune tellers. If they were, analysts would be billionaires, not you.