I once heard a slogan:
“You are a product of the environment you live in.”
At first, I skimmed over it –
lightly, like how I skim over advice on Facebook.
Until one day, I suddenly realize I am exhausted.
Not because of lack of sleep.
Not because of junk food.
Not because of working the wrong way.
I am exhausted without knowing the reason.
And I wonder:
“Am I living in the wrong environment –
like a tropical tree mistakenly planted in a cold snowy land?”
“Do I really choose this living environment,
or am I just trying to twist myself to avoid breaking in the middle of the road?”
I am starting to pay more attention.
Every day, the environment I live in does not just exist around me.
It gradually seeps into me –
like water seeps into the roots of a tree.
I am not standing alone.
I am continuously being reprogrammed by:
• The repetitive stories of those around me
• The skeptical glances about change
• The constant noise from the endless news stream
• And those times I nod to things I no longer believe – just to avoid upsetting someone
I understand more clearly:
The environment is not just where I live.
It is an ecosystem of ethics and energy operating within me.
There are days I am “in a mood” –
not because of anything major.
Just because I am breathing in a wrong mental climate
compared to the self I want to become.
You cannot force a tree to bear sweet fruit
if the soil is barren, the light is deceitful,
and the air is suffocating and dusty.
I am too.
Living in the wrong environment,
I do not just grow wrong.
I gradually turn into a strange version.
No longer myself.
Now, I am beginning to do something essential –
like a survival ritual:
Audit my living environment.
Not by emotions.
But by survival instinct.
I wonder:
“Who is helping me breathe easier –
who is making me shrink even though they don’t touch me?”
“The things I hear, read, and interact with every day –
are they activating or eroding my core values?”
“Am I trying to maintain discipline
in a place where every right action leaves me… exhausted?
And I realize one thing –
a bit painful,
but also extremely clear:
I do not lack willpower.
I am just living in a place that makes willpower… insufficient.
I cannot change the entire environment immediately.
But I am learning to adjust my surroundings
instead of continuing to adjust myself
in a space that is no longer right.
Maybe what I need is not more effort.
But isfinding the right place again –
the place where I can touch my true self.The thing that is still waiting… to live the truest life.