$BTC Check out my latest transactions and see if you can surpass me (holding chips and scrolling on my phone, suddenly wide-eyed) Wow! Bitcoin is at 99k?! (My hands shake and I spill cola on my printed pajama pants) Damn! Missing out on this ride makes me feel like a simp who missed his goddess's wedding... (suddenly pulls up a Weibo post from three months ago criticizing Bitcoin as a scam) Is it still too late to delete this? (folding my hands in front of the K-line chart) May the crypto gods bless me, let me grab a position before 100k… (turns to the air and shows off) Did you see that! Who said buying coins was worse than buying monkeys back in the day? (suddenly receives a liquidation text) ...So, um, is Meituan still hiring riders?