Musk lets the dogs bite the dollar, the doge fund is in chaos!
Today, this market looks like it has people digging their toes into the ground—lying flat like a salted fish, the Bollinger bands are tighter than the morning rush hour subway, and the trading volume is worse than a squeezed lemon.
The MACD golden cross looks like the foreplay of an action movie; upon closer inspection, the red bars are thinner than a Shiba Inu that hasn't eaten dog food for three days. Right now, both bulls and bears are not competing on technique but on how long they can hold their bladder, just waiting for Musk to pull out the Twitter nuclear button.
1. News
Musk once shouted, "DOGE will replace the dollar," which scared the old white men on Wall Street so much they sprayed coffee everywhere. This madman even rumored that Tesla would pay salaries in dogecoin, and Visa is preparing to print cards with a dog head logo—soon, swiping a card will really mean "swiping a dog," and buying eggs at the supermarket will require DOGE black market transactions.
2. Technical Analysis
On the weekly chart, the "bullish flag" is more alluring than a Victoria's Secret supermodel, but the daily chart is stuck around 0.17 playing acrobatics. If this position holds, the 0.22 short liquidation zone will instantly turn into a fireworks show; but below, at 0.16, lies 96 million dog food tokens from the FTX liquidation, and vultures like Galaxy Digital are just waiting to crash the party.
3. On-chain Data
Whales have secretly hoarded 100 million dog tokens, while simultaneously tricking retail investors into increasing their staking volume by 526%—this operation is more ruthless than a PUA master; the retail investors are cursing the manipulators while also offering up their tokens. The derivatives market is even more absurd, with CME futures premiums shrinking to 0.2%, and institutions are already set up with straddles waiting to harvest—this wave of sharks would hand over a cigarette and shout "big brother."
Right now, this market feels like watching Musk walk his dogs— you think he's on the first floor, but he's actually in outer space fixing the dog house. Remember, when the doge fund turns sideways into performance art, the next second will either be a skyrocketing monkey or blood droplets!
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