#fomcmeetingrecap :May 2025 Edition
BREAKING: The Fed just wrapped up their meeting, and guess what? Interest rates didn’t go down — but Powell’s stress levels definitely went up.
Wall Street traders: “They paused the rates! Time to pump everything!”
Powell: adjusts tie, glares silently
Translation: “Try me.”
Millennials with home loans: “Soooo… can we finally refinance?”
FOMC: “Not today, sweetheart.”
Market reaction:
Stocks: Acting like it’s 2020 again.
Crypto: Already halfway to the moon.
Bonds: Looking around like “am I supposed to be here?”
Gold: Calm, classy, and unbothered.
Recession: Still pending… like your passport renewal.
Powell’s official statement: “We’re committed to stability.”
Real meaning: “We’re guessing better than last time.”
Let’s be real — every FOMC meeting teaches a new generation what “hawkish” means… and why coffee futures might actually be a solid investment.
Catch y’all next meeting. Bring charts, snacks, and emotional stability. You’ll need all three.