Why hustle when Netflix exists? Money won’t buy happiness, but it funds procrastination. Skip investments—ignoring your bank account is easier. Financial freedom is a myth; debt is more entertaining. Goals require effort; naps don’t. Passive income sounds exhausting—spend passively instead. Budgeting is overrated; pretend money’s imaginary. The early bird gets stress; the late bird gets rest. Unmotivational Finance™: lowering ambition, one bad decision at a time