#特朗普就职百日

President Trump's "Hundred Days of Crypto Drama" is even more surreal than "Game of Thrones," with plot twists that even the Wolf of Wall Street would call professional!

**Act One: The President Issues Coins, Retail Investors Sing 'Conquer' Overnight**

Just two days before taking office, the Wise King suddenly revealed "King of Air Coins" $TRUMP, opening at $0.18, skyrocketing to $75 in 12 hours, with a market cap instantly surpassing $10 billion, turning the crypto world into a scene from "Squid Game." The team held 80% of the tokens, and the unlocking plan was comparable to a "Retail Investor Installment Payment Package," even Elon Musk exclaimed, "This operation is wilder than when I launched Dogecoin!" Melania was not to be outdone, quickly launching $MELANIA coin, which plummeted from $18 to $4, perfectly illustrating "Unity in Marriage, Retail Investors Divide Gold."

**Act Two: Regulatory Flip-Flop, SEC Turns into a Kind Uncle**

On the hundred-day report card, Trump's actions were fierce: suing Coinbase and Ripple, pardoning dark web bosses, and establishing a "Bitcoin Strategic Reserve"—the market soon realized this reserve was just the old bitcoins already in the government treasury, pure "Old Wine in New Bottles" performance art. SEC's new chair Paul Atkins proclaimed, "Embrace Innovation," while regulations remained stagnant, with retail investors complaining: "The regulator's mouth is a deceiving ghost; good news relies entirely on PPT meetings!"

**Act Three: Trade War + No Rate Cuts, Bitcoin Goes Bungee Jumping**

Where's the "Cryptocurrency Bull Market Engine" with the Federal Reserve's rate cuts? Powell stood firm against Trump, keeping interest rates steady as a mountain, and Bitcoin plummeted from a high of $109,000. With tariffs from the trade war increasing, the coin price directly performed a "Faith Shattered Split," and those who bought at $74,000 cried while chanting, "So MAGA (Make America Great Again) is actually the abbreviation for 'America Slices Retail Investors'!"

"In the crypto world, the President's promises may be air coins, but the tears of retail investors are definitely hard currency—after all, regulation may be late, but liquidation is never absent!"