$TRUMP

When Trump threw out the tweet "TRUMP Coin Launch" on Truth Social, the cryptocurrency world staged a magical realism drama—First Lady Melania's MELANIA Coin just surged to $5, only to be hacked and renamed "Melania Trump Bitcoin," causing its market value to evaporate by 40% immediately.

Sister Li at the next desk chewed on spicy strips and laughed wildly: "Just look at the distribution of loot within the Trump family! 80% of the tokens stuffed into their own safe, what is this? Not blockchain? It’s the Trump family heirloom safe!" Suddenly, trader Xiao Zhang burst through the door: "Run! Sun Yuchen's $75 million market rescue WLFI turned him into a 'crypto philanthropist'!" The entire mining room collectively wailed—these days, even TRON has to act as an ATM for the White House?

At this moment, the LCD screen on the wall suddenly popped up a news alert: "SEC Chairman suddenly goes blind, Trump's crypto bill rushes through!" Old Wang spat coffee onto his keyboard: "Good heavens! Trump's presidential halo couldn't save the coin price, but it dazzled the regulatory agency instead?"

At this point, the futures market suddenly exploded. A big shot in the group shouted angrily: "Short the Dow futures, use TRUMP Coin as bullets!" Old Wang silently adjusted the mining machine's power to 100%, thinking: What is this, issuing coins? Clearly a mutated game of political donations!