Current ETH Price: $3,839 — Just a hair's breadth away from the previous high of $3,840 🦵💨

A 24h increase of 2.6% seems gentle, but the RSI of 83 = an old lady running at 83 km/h, about to crash any second 👵💥

Deadly signals:

Upper Bollinger Band at 4,136 → Current price is like a kitchen knife against the forehead 🔪 (jumping high means getting chopped)

44% of shorts holding torches → A sneeze from the whales and they all get incinerated 🔥💨

Volume shrinking → Yesterday 4 million ETH, today shrunk to a weak little dog 🐶💨

Spoiler for the next week:

90% probability: Face down, crashing towards 3,728 (Reference: Superman landing face-first and becoming a vegetable 🦸🪴)

10% miracle: Breaking through 3,840?

≈ Using diluted soup as rocket fuel — either landing on the moon or splattering the walls 🚀💩$ETH