America is a great country! So great that its debt can now be seen from the Moon — from that very Moon where Elon Musk once dreamed of sending people, before he got caught up in more important matters — like trying to save the nation from its own president.
If you somehow slept through the holidays: Donald John Trump — the president who once proudly promised to 'drain the swamp' — signed 'One Big Beautiful Law'. It's a mutant of tax breaks for billionaires, a giant shopping spree for the Pentagon, and a cheerful chainsaw on the remnants of social protection. In short: the rich will get richer, the poor will get poorer, and the debt will get bigger. By a couple of trillion. Well, why be modest — it is beautiful, isn't it?
But then Elon Musk comes in — the hero of capitalism, the Iron Man of startups, and a fan of memes. In the midst of the festive fireworks, he suddenly remembered that debt is bad. And that it won't be him who has to pay it back (he'll pay taxes on Mars or somewhere in Ireland), but ordinary people who are already struggling to manage a mortgage at 9% annual interest.
So Musk slammed his fist on the table (probably carbon fiber) and declared: "Enough! I've had enough! I'm creating a new party. I'll call it... 'The American Party'!" Brilliant. Just what a voter with an IQ lower than the federal deficit needs.
And what does this party offer? It's simple. We will cut expenses! We will bring back common sense! We will stop giving money to everyone and instead give it only to those who are already in orbit. Makes sense. Seriously — Musk wants to cut the deficit, deregulate the economy, open the gates for smart immigrants (if they can program rockets), and, of course, forever bury the two-party monopoly that has been rotting since the days of black-and-white television.
And what does Trump think about it? Well, Trump is, of course, furious. How is it possible that Elon is no longer his friend? He was almost the minister of tweets not long ago! Now Trump threatens to strip Tesla of its subsidies, deport Elon back to Pretoria, and audit SpaceX down to the last bolt.
In general, we now have the richest person on the planet fighting against the loudest president on the planet. Both call themselves the saviors of America, both live off taxpayers, both hate 'big government' — but one just created his own party, while the other signed a law that turned debt into yet another Musk planet.
What will happen next? It's simple: you will work even harder, pay even more, and vote in such a way that you'll complain again later. And who knows — maybe in a couple of years America will finally see its first successful third party. Maybe on Mars. Maybe with President Elon the First.
The debt is large, beautiful, and now definitively American.