A month has passed, and I think it’s still worth sharing this as a warning to everyone. Please take me as a lesson: don’t gamble!
On June 2, a few days after the Backpack S1 season ended, I was holding $135,000 in cash and suddenly felt a bit idle.
I thought since I can't hedge with Backpack, I might as well do some short-term trading on Lighter. Maybe I can increase my funds a bit before S2 starts.
Then I went to gamble on contracts, opening positions that got larger and larger, with $1 million positions. A 1% rise or fall is $10,000, very thrilling.
🔸On the first day in, by evening, I had lost $25,000, leaving only $110,000 in capital.
I think tomorrow I need to be steady and avoid blind high-frequency trading. If I earn $5,000 every day, I can win it back in a week!
🔹On the second day, I made over $4,000. I secretly felt happy. If I just hold on for a week, I can break even. Once I break even, I won’t play anymore. I really won't gamble anymore.
🔸On the third day, I woke up in the morning wanting to trade, eager to earn back quickly. I opened a position before 8 AM, but got stuck in ETH. I felt very painful, sweating while staring at the stuck number, watching the stop-loss get closer, suffering all day.
By evening, I hit my stop-loss and lost $25,000. Suddenly I felt that stopping the loss meant I didn’t have to suffer anymore. It's like a prisoner who knows they are going to be executed, always holding onto the last glimmer of hope. When they finally die, they are relieved.
🔹On the fourth day, I only had $95,000 left in capital. I clearly felt that I was very tired, but I still wanted to break even. I wanted to earn it back, so I opened a position again. That afternoon, I hesitated and missed an opportunity to short. Around 2 PM, I thought it would rebound, so I went long and then got stuck. By 5 PM, I was directly stopped out, losing another $10,000, leaving only $85,000.
Then, I went all in. Watching ETH break down, at 6 PM, I placed a market order to short using my phone, with no stop-loss! I shorted at the lowest point, staring at my phone on the way home, watching it rebound. I was sweating, but I thought, after such a long period of sideways movement, if it breaks down tonight and drops 7%, I can break even. I have to hold on, hold on!
By 8:30 PM, I pretended nothing was wrong while watching TV in the living room, but I couldn’t focus at all. I checked my phone every minute to see the price fluctuations.
Around 9 PM, ETH's price rebounded by almost $30. I lost a lot of money again today. I have already collapsed, and my brain feels numb.
I ran back to the bedroom and frantically tried to close my position. At that time, Lighter logged in on my phone and said my access was restricted. I desperately switched the VPN node on my phone, trying to close this short position without a stop-loss.
The moment I closed my position, I felt relaxed. In the past few days, I lost over 500,000 RMB. I lay in bed, not wanting to say anything, and fell into a drowsy sleep before 10 PM.
🔸On the fifth day, at 7 AM, I habitually took a look at the price. ETH plummeted by 7.6%. I didn’t know what caused the crash (later found out it was due to Musk and Trump falling out).
If I hadn't closed my short position, how great would that be? It’s really like I fantasized on my way home yesterday afternoon. If it had dropped 7%, I would have broken even.
But this is life. There are no ifs in life, no do-overs, you can only face it.
This is my experience from the first week of June. Since that day, I haven't eaten a meal for 7 or 8 consecutive days. I only ate a few bites of vegetables each meal and felt full. I lost my appetite, felt depressed, and my spirit collapsed.
Looking back now, I feel like fate is playing tricks on me. The arrangement of fate makes me feel very nauseous when I look at the K-line. It’s a physiological nausea, a feeling of disgust.
There are no ifs in life. If you ask me what I have gained, it might be that Lighter sent me 310 points that week, which is my biggest points gain in history.
But I am grateful for the experience from a month ago. If my position wasn't hedged, I would feel nauseous. I have become immune to these contracts. I have quit gambling.
✅People live because there is hope.
Thanks to my psychological mentor @Metabape and wise brother @dominolu for their help in helping me step out of the shadows.
The road of life is still long, I still have a little capital left, I still have points from @Backpack_CN, and I can earn it back by doing some side hustles. As long as I'm alive, there is hope.
People should grow after learning a lesson.
I must strive for financial freedom in 2 cycles.
Let’s work hard together with my brothers! No gambling, no turning back!
Go for it!
