Buy Doge! Buy Bitcoin! TSLA to the moon! Also, gold. Maybe bonds. Sue me.
💰 The Trump Portfolio:
▪️ $BTC (but only if he remembers his wallet password)
▪️ $DOGE (because Elon said so)
▪️ $TSLA (until he gets mad at Musk again)
▪️ $DJT (his own meme stock Very stable, very genius!)
📉 Risk Warning:
• Past performance: 4 indictments, 2 impeachments, $454M fraud fine
• Strategy: Deny losses, sue critics, call it FUD
🤡 Final Tip:Trade like a billionaire—just don’t pay your bills!
The only thing he HODLs longer than Bitcoin… is a grudge.
For a pro-Trump spin:
Love him or hate him Trump’s pumping bags like a true degen. 🇺🇸🚀
Let me know if you want it more political, funnier, or tied to actual news (like his recent crypto comments)
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