Crypto Portfolio: An Obstacle Course with Square Wheels* 🚗💨

"USUAL -90%, LPT -61%, DOT -58%... If the portfolio were a marathon, I would be last with a broken ankle."

4 tragic-comic “scenarios” from the last week:

1. USUAL: The Black Hole of Rug Pulls ⚫

Down 10x – "like a match thrown into the ocean. Is there any value left? Only in memories." .

2. LPT: The AI Hero Who Forgot to ACT 🤖📉

-61% this year vs ATH. "Promised a video revolution. Now it’s a tutorial on ‘how to lose money gracefully’." .

3. DOT: The Sumo Fighter on Ice 🥋❄️

Constantly down, even though Polkadot is scaling. "Interoperability yes, but the price doesn’t cooperate!" .

4. ARB: The Crazy Bullet in the Pool 🔫💧

-15% after governance disputes. "Layer 2 without a trusted Layer 1 = house on sand."

Why does the chaos continue?

- FUD is the fuel of inflation: Trump tariffs → panic → chain liquidations .

- Phantom liquidity: Small projects (USUAL) have TVL below $1M. "When the water disappears, the fish jump on land." .

- ETFs are selfish: 97% of inflows go to BTC. Altcoins get "sentimental crumbs" .

Final joke:

> "When ARB drops 15%, DOT 58%, and USUAL becomes a digital artifact, I’m left with a plan:

> Sell LPT, buy popcorn, and wait for the next halving. What could go wrong?" 🍿

🌟 The light at the end of the tunnel:

- BTC is bouncing back quickly: From $102k to $104k in 2 hours .

- Stablecoins save the café: Paying bills with USDC while others cry over charts .

- Airdrops on Binance: Compensate 30% of losses in 48h ("At least someone is giving back!").

HODL? More like "I survive and laugh at my own choices."😏