Most of the time, the lashing out on children, and hitting children isn't about the child.

But a parent feeling powerless.

Follow my train of thought.

If as a child you were raised by a domineering parent, you were raised to have zero voice, power and agency.

You felt small and invisible in the presence of authority figure.

Fast forward to you being a parent, the only way you were taught to express power is through domination.

And any expression by to your child to express their unique voice, preference or path triggers you.

You feel you're loosing power.

And loosing power makes you feel small.

Feeling small takes you back to when you were a child feeling demeaned, silenced and invisible by authority figure.

And to avoid that experience, you act-out to feel powerful, in-charge and visible.

To do that, you regain control by dominating your child.

And you only do that through the only method that was modeled to you.

Hitting, threatening, labeling, outburst, lashing out etc.

All these will make you feel powerful, you'll validate all these and call it discipline..

But you'll only succeed in repeating a cycle where children hate themselves, and project their inadequacies on others to feel better.

Your child isn't the reason you feel powerless, look inwards.

Seek parenting reeducation to break the cycle of transgenerational abnormalities.

No child deserve to repeat the parents unresolved childhood trauma.

I hope you get the help you seek.

I'm rooting for you.

Adeh Jones