There are certain formative experiences we go through, that impacts our lives for life.

One of those experience is attachment expression.

This week, we'll highlight how avoidant attachment finds expression in parenting.

Hopefully, we'll highlight three important expressions.

1. Emotional minimisation.

A child is playing, and got poked by a chicken, and the child started to cry.

Not necessarily because of the chicken's poke, but because the child was scared.

Like I said, the child started crying, loudly.

This is a typical response from an avoidant attachment personality..

Is it this small chicken that is making you cry?

This small chicken wants to play with you, and you're here opening your mouth crying.

You, is it every small thing that must make you cry?

In this typical responses, a common denominator is the use of 'small'.

Meaning, what has happened to you isn't a big deal to make you cry.

That's emotional minimisation.

The child's emotional response disgusts you, you can't relate.

The parent reduces whatever is a source of distress to their child, to be mere unnecessary exaggeration.

The implication is, children grow up feeling ashamed of expressing emotional distress, especially from those they expect regulation from, their parents.

Validating a child's emotional distress takes emotional awareness, compassion and empathy, and it's a big call for parents with avoidant attachment wounds.

Can you offer compassion, empathy and regulation to a child in distress when your tank is empty?

Let this sink, we'll continue the conversation tomorrow..

Is this striking a cord?

Coach Adeh