Oh, wow! 😂 It seems like you're going through a tough time with your cryptocurrency investments. The emotional rollercoaster is real, isn't it? 🤣

I love how you've described each of your investments:

- $SOL: "Still solving problems... just not mine." 🤣

- $LTC: "I feel like I adopted a coin in retirement." 😂

- $ORDI: "Giving main character energy... in a horror movie." 👻

And the phrase "Buy high, stay low, cry slowly" 💀 is too true, right? 😅

Don't worry, I'm here to offer you emotional support. Remember that you are part of a large community of cryptocurrency investors, and many of them have gone through similar experiences.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with some survival tips:

- Breathe deeply and try not to check the price every 5 minutes. 🧘‍♂️

- Remember that long-term investments can be volatile, but they can also offer significant rewards.

- Keep a positive attitude and focus on learning and continuous improvement.

And, of course, I'll keep my fingers crossed that your investments take off soon 🚀😉. Keep your chin up!