Friends, I'm sorry for not being able to reply to messages timely these days, sorry.
On the morning of June 10th, on a whim, I went for a walk in the park. After a round, I saw a message from a friend saying something had happened, that Binance's points were deducted. At that time, I explained it was normal and thought it was a big deal, but it seemed like a joke from heaven. Around noon, I received the news of Grandma's passing. Although it was sad, her condition had not been good—stroke, dementia, and half-paralyzed. Her departure might also be a kind of relief for her.
After finishing the promotional article for Huobi's top female trader in the afternoon, I hurriedly prepared to pack my luggage. I set off from Chongqing at 4 PM and arrived in Chengdu at 8 PM, having a hasty dinner before heading to my hometown in Pingchang with my parents and younger sister. Along the way, perhaps Mom caught a cold or was feeling sad; she took motion sickness medicine and used motion sickness patches but still kept vomiting until we got home at 5 AM, possibly because she drank three cans of Red Bull during the trip and couldn't sleep all night.
After returning to my hometown, I discussed with Grandpa how to handle Grandma’s funeral. Since Dad and Grandpa are not in good health—Dad had a stroke last year, and Grandpa has been in the late stages of uremia for over ten years—this time, my cousin and I mainly took charge. We did not make a grand affair; we returned to the ancestral home to clean up the clutter, which had overgrown with weeds due to no one living there for a long time. After cleaning, my cousin and I went to notify Grandma's relatives, wearing green silk and setting off firecrackers while bowing four times. I met my uncles whom I hadn't seen for many years. I remembered going with Grandma when I was young. Although time had made us distant, the memories from back then remained clear and familiar.
In the following days, we cleaned the room and prepared everything. The Feng Shui master also checked the burial site. My cousin and I used hoes to clear the weeds on the sloped ground. Although there were many mosquitoes in the room and the summer heat was unbearable, we finally managed to sleep. The next morning at 5 AM, I took Grandpa and my cousin to the neighboring village to buy groceries. The mornings in our area dawn early. We bought a few simple vegetables and ended up eating three baskets of green bean dumplings, which were okay but not as tasty as what Mom makes. Every meal required sending food and burning paper offerings for Grandma. The arrangements for the mourning hall were quite professional, and it didn't take long for everything to be in order.
During the day, we began the busy memorial preparation ceremony. Stones needed to be carried from afar, and the elderly gentlemen in their 60s and 70s of the Eight Great Kings were undeterred by difficulties. As they carried the stones, they exchanged wry smiles, enduring the scorching midday sun. In the afternoon, my uncle and aunt, along with my married sisters, welcomed guests with drums and gongs, busy receiving return gifts. At that time, I often sighed that fate never seems to favor kind people, while some who commit evil still live well.
At night, the guarding wind brought a cool breeze, and the sound of insects chirping was lively, but the mosquitoes also became more active at this time. It wasn't until 5 AM that we began the final ceremony, scattering road money, holding the portrait, carrying a basket of grains, and personally sending Grandma off. The Eight Great Kings carried the coffin away, with firecrackers and fireworks going off together. At that moment, I was filled with complex emotions. Watching everything return to the earth, I realized that life really passes quickly; time slips quietly through our fingers, and many things always come unexpectedly.
Grandma has always been a very talkative person, until the last few years when she suddenly became so quiet. She used to be someone who never ran out of topics and enjoyed chatting, until the end of her life. Her silence made me ponder: what is the meaning of life? Is it the Tao, fate, or something we cannot control?
Many people say that wicked people are blessed, while those who do good deeds die young. So, do those who do good all their lives really not have long lives? Is it truly as some wise people say, that there are five flaws and three deficiencies? How should one understand the way of life? Interfering with others' karma can also be poisonous, and foolish kindness is not true principled goodness, which can lead to adverse effects. Perhaps we cannot control whether tomorrow or an accident comes first, but we can control what we do today, striving to have a clear conscience.
I am also reflecting on life; it is finite, and all the good and evil, suffering, and joy eventually transform into life's impermanence. For me, understanding the Tao may be a lifetime of practice. Perhaps each of us walks our own path, but whether we can truly grasp its mysteries still requires countless experiences to settle.
Facing the impermanence of life and the passing of loved ones, the only thing we can do is to keep moving forward, maintaining inner peace and resilience. During this time, I thank you all for your understanding and support. In the future, we will walk this road together.
