$ETH I bought $ETH thinking I’d be rich by lunch. It’s 4 PM, I’m still broke, and now emotionally attached to a coin that moves slower than my Wi-Fi on a bad day. Ethereum gas fees? Bro, I paid more to swap $ETH than I did for my lunch, and I had sushi 🍣! At this point, I’m not investing—I’m donating to the blockchain gods, hoping they bless me with a bull run. Vitalik, if you’re reading this, blink twice and send a pump. Until then, I’ll just sit here refreshing the charts like it’s Netflix. HODL they said… it’s character-building therapy.