"The safety helmet for programmers, the amulet for retail investors, the thorn in Wall Street's eye—if this bill really gets implemented, the crypto world will explode with the biggest fireworks in ten years!"
Crow Analysis:
1. Coders can finally stand tall!
Brothers who used to write code were so frustrated! If a protocol like Uniswap is used for money laundering, the SEC might even take the programmers in for tea! Now the bill directly states: "Whoever open sources is exempt from liability!"
Heart-piercing case: An anonymous developer from PancakeSwap was globally wanted, scared and deleted GitHub overnight to flee. Now? I'm possessed by V God, finishing the code and soaking goji berries!
Crow's viewpoint: This is definitely good news for public chains like Ethereum and Solana! More genius programmers will dare to create, ecological explosion? It’s only a matter of time!
2. Exchanges are crying in the bathroom!
Coinbase and Binance look glamorous on the surface, but they are struggling inside! The new law forces them to act as 'licensed babysitters': user assets must be stored separately, weekly reserve reports, a slight oversight could lead to bankruptcy!
Heart-wrenching case: Think about when FTX collapsed and user assets were used as toilet paper? Now the bill directly tightens the screws on exchanges, costs double, profits cut in half!
Crow's street rant: They deserve it! These casinos that gamble with user money should be punished! But short-term platform tokens (BNB, OKB) might take a hit, holders should prepare mentally.
3. The wild child of DeFi is going to wear a school uniform! (Laughing maniacally)
Decentralized protocols like Compound and Aave were originally dancing in the regulatory gray area, now the bill specifically mentions: "Decentralized? Sure! But don’t touch user funds, don’t engage in dark operations!"
Case is chilling: Last year, a DeFi project used 'governance tokens' to control and exploit retail investors, and the founder now has a villa by the sea. Who dares to play like that now? The SEC will send you silver bracelets!
Crow's blunt words: Real decentralized projects (like UNI and AAVE) take off right away! Fake decentralized scams? You might as well wait to die!
4. Wall Street sharks are sharpening their teeth! (Be cautious)
Goldman Sachs, BlackRock, and other old money have long drooled over the crypto market but were afraid to dive in due to chaotic regulation. Now that the bill outlines the playing field, they immediately bring in money!
Heart-stopping case: BlackRock just applied for a Bitcoin spot ETF last month. Once the bill passes, a trillion dollars could flood into the market? Bitcoin reaching $100,000 is not a dream!
Crow slams the table: Opportunity has arrived! But remember—when Wall Street enters, it's the sickle; when they exit, it's the chainsaw! Be quick, precise, and ruthless with the big players!
"Tonight the House decides life and death, programmers feast while exchanges eat dirt! Is the altcoin in your hand going to heaven or hell? Follow Crow for a live stream at 3 AM—I’ll help you understand the wealth code under the regulatory knife! Remember: the bigger the storm, the more valuable the fish!"
