1. Built-In Volatility for Cardio. Why jog when you can just watch the Trump Coin chart? Your heart rate will spike every 5 minutes. It's cheaper than a Peloton and twice as dangerous.
2-3. Comes with free emotional damage: Buy high, sell low, question your life choices $TRUMP delivers the full experience in record time.
4. Perfect for Thanksgiving Arguments: Holding $TRUMP guarantees at least 3 political fights with extended family. Bonus points if Grandpa calls it “deep state coin.”
5. Might be accepted at Future galactic golf resorts: If Trump builds a space golf course on #Mars , you’ll already have the currency. Visionaries prepare, doubters regret.
In conclusion: Invest responsibly. Or like me: Loudly, irrationally, and in the name of the meme.
