🍽 $TRUMP: Steak, Patriotism & -87% Unrealized Losses

Last night, Trump hosted a “relaxing dinner” for the top holders of his memecoin.

Average loss per guest? Roughly $8 million.

But spirits were high — or at least artificially inflated.

The menu included:

• Steak

• Merch

• Patriotism

• Unrealistic Hope

• And a generous serving of Promises™

Quote of the night:

“Crypto is our future. America is great again.

And you guys… you’ll be in profit soon.

#Allegedly.”

They nodded.

Some from belief.

Most from dehydration — after an 87% drawdown.

But every fairy tale ends at sunrise.

This morning:

• Trump announced a 50% tariff on the EU starting June 1

• And a 25% penalty on Apple if iPhones aren’t made in the USA

Markets screamed.

Investors Googled: “Can I hedge PTSD with options?”

Lesson of the day:

Trump can soothe a crypto investor — but only until breakfast.

Then it’s protectionism, chaos, and fresh red candles.

He walks the tightrope between Crypto Messiah and Trade War Warlord.

And markets? Still the unwilling hostages.