The Art of Speaking
A very overweight woman got on a bus. A mocking passenger exclaimed:
"I didn't know this bus was reserved for elephants!"
The woman calmly replied:
"No, sir, this bus is like Noah's Ark: it carries both elephants and donkeys!"
The famous writer Bernard Shaw was confronted by an arrogant author who said to him:
"I am better than you because I write for honor while you write for money!"
Bernard Shaw immediately retorted:
"You are right; everyone seeks what they lack."
The blind poet Bachar Ibn Burd was approached by an unpleasant man who said to him:
"God has never deprived a man of sight without compensating him. So, how has He compensated you?"
Bachar replied:
"He has compensated me by sparing me the sight of people like you!"
A blind man married a woman who said to him:
"If you could see my beauty and my fair complexion, you would be amazed!"
He replied:
"If you were truly as you say, the sighted would never have left you for me!"
A man tried to ridicule Al-Mutanabbi by saying to him:
"From a distance, I took you for a woman!"
Al-Mutanabbi replied:
"And I, from a distance, took you for a man!"
A very ugly woman said to a man:
"If I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee!"
He replied:
"And if I were your husband, I would drink it without hesitation!"
Winston Churchill once said to Bernard Shaw:
"When we see you, we think that Great Britain is going through a famine!"
Bernard Shaw retorted:
"And when we see you, we understand why!"
A man addressed Joha by saying:
"I only recognized you thanks to your donkey!"
Joha replied:
"Donkeys recognize each other!"
A man said to a woman:
"How beautiful you are!"
She replied:
"If only you were handsome, I could say the same to you!"
He replied:
"No worries, lie like I did!"
The Literary World