Every day, I still regularly document my daily life

It's the weekend now. Da Bing and Er Bing are exceptionally brave. I made a small profit today. I often find myself in a dilemma when I stay up late at night watching the market alone. I think about my long life; I dropped out of school at sixteen, got married and had children at nineteen, and now I'm almost twenty-four. How should I walk my path in the future? I have no way in business, no skills as an employee, and what about trading? I can't help but smile bitterly. Whether I can succeed is another matter; giving up is not an option since I don't have other money-making abilities. Saying I'm worthless would be flattering. My words are extremely bleak because I see the essence through trading; what I see is not wealth, but bones. Climbing a mountain sounds nice, but isn't it just stepping on the yellow earth and climbing in place? I have no money or ability. Meeting my wife is a stroke of luck, and being born in this country is a blessed life. I'm not greedy; I’ll just let the long years have occasional ripples. The most I've heard is this phrase: if you don’t have that fate, don’t aspire to be above others. I don’t want to be someone above others; I just want to live a bit better, eat until I'm full, and have a brighter life. I just want my parents to be more at ease and my wife and daughter to be happier. So, I feel bleak about my own experiences and inadequacies. What makes me feel bleak is that I'm not successful. I want to take a break, but I haven't earned much money yet. Without worrying my family, I can only pretend to be relaxed and carefree.