- Spilled content on three Wikipedias
- Caused heart attacks in 10 thousand Canadians, 5 thousand Greenlanders, 3 thousand Panamanians
- Ruined relations with Europe, China, Mexico, Canada - almost everyone in the world
- Kicked out 200 thousand Latinos from the country, now there’s no one to pick tomatoes
- Threatened Putin 100 times and Zelensky 200 times
- Kicked Macron at the Pope's funeral
- Took 550 selfies and gave 380 interviews about his achievements
- Imposed draconian tariffs of 200 percent against everyone, then the next day reduced them to 20 percent
- Sold 100 thousand MAGA caps (as an economic achievement)
- Besides the war in Ukraine and the Middle East, a war between India and Pakistan is brewing (but that's not me - it's Joe Biden).
- A couple of guys who knew what the next statement would be made a fortune on the stock market
- Instead of the black Kuzi on TV, now the charming white Levitt appears (well, there is a point)!
- Renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America (made America great)
- Promised to make America even greater in the next hundred days!