What the hell, I woke up to find that the loan of over 400,000 has vanished. What is Trump up to?

I'm feeling like jumping off a building right now. Although I have thoughts of wanting to die, to think about it, being a deadbeat isn't so bad. Being a deadbeat doesn't actually affect my life much. All the software I'm using now is from relatives and friends. Any advice, friends? Should I sell the house and go all in, or just be a deadbeat and lie flat? #BTC