"I'm Boring But Safe(ish)" Tier:

1. Bitcoin (BTC)

Grandpa coin. Slow, stubborn, but the gold standard.

People buy it to HODL, not to party.

2. Ethereum (ETH)

The home of DeFi, NFTs, and broken dreams.

Has real utility. Still going strong even after gas fees have emotionally damaged entire generations.

⚙️ "I Actually Do Things" Tier:

3. Polygon (MATIC)

Layer 2 for Ethereum—makes it faster and cheaper. Like giving Ethereum a Red Bull.

Lots of DeFi apps and partnerships.

4. Chainlink (LINK)

Oracle network. It connects blockchains with the real world. Basically the interpreter for smart contracts.

Solid use case. Annoyingly underrated.

5. Avalanche (AVAX)

Fast, low fees, DeFi playground.

Also trying to be Ethereum’s cooler, edgier cousin.

🎭 "High Risk, High Chaos" Tier:

6. Arbitrum (ARB)

Another Ethereum Layer 2. The DeFi kids are all over it.

Newer, less stable, but spicy.

7. Solana (SOL)

Lightning fast. Dirt cheap fees.

Also: crashes more often than a college WiFi router during finals week.

8. Optimism (OP)

Layer 2 like Arbitrum. Speedy, optimistic, and trying really hard.

Basically Ethereum’s side hustle.

🐸 "You Didn’t Ask But I’m Gonna Say It" Tier:

9. Dogecoin (DOGE)

Meme coin. Technically works. Elon tweets it up.

Not useful, but... strangely persistent.

10. Shiba Inu (SHIB)

Like Dogecoin but with extra cosplay.

If you invest in this, you’re either a genius or a masochist.