Last year, I attended a blockchain conference where the guest on stage passionately talked about 'decentralization changing the world,' while the audience below was busy grabbing red envelopes. This scene had a Zen-like quality - you centralized the distribution of digital RMB red envelopes while educating us on how to overturn the centralized financial system.
Later, I learned that this is called performance art.
Token2049 can be considered the Victoria's Secret show of the crypto world, with a fleet of Lamborghinis parked in front of the Burj Al Arab, Russian models wearing bikinis printed with exchange logos handing out flyers, and Korean projects throwing real gold 'fragmented NFTs' at pool parties. One VC partner, after drinking too much, told me: 'Do you know why we chose Dubai? Because here, you can never tell the rich from the scammers.' After saying this, he burped, and I caught a whiff of chives dumplings.
The newly added 'Arab Robe Experience Zone' is quite vivid - wear the white robe for three minutes, and you can receive a 'strategic investment' from the Middle Eastern royal family funds.
In comparison, the Hong Kong Web3 Carnival feels like a suit-clad underworld gathering, with mainland teams earnestly explaining 'Blockchain + Government Affairs' while Philippine casino owners promote 'Cryptocurrency Baccarat.' The busiest are the translators, trying to translate 'common prosperity' into 'community moon,' and then 'moon to the moon' into 'surge.' The char siu buns in the tea break area are selling much better than NFTs, because after all, what can be eaten is the real demand.
One day during heavy rain, the exhibition center leaked and extinguished the booths of three metaverse companies. The audience remarked that this was the most authentic virtual experience they had ever seen.
Paris Blockchain Week always talks about art; the French can make issuing tokens sound like creation (starry sky) and package cutting grass as performance art. At the Louvre's sub-venue, the CEO of an NFT platform pointed to (Mona Lisa) and said: 'We want to make art flow.' A security guard quietly asked me: 'Is he trying to steal the painting?'
In a café, an Italian in a turtleneck sweater drew a curve on a white sheet: 'This is our token economic model.' I thought it looked like an ECG, but he sternly corrected me: 'No, this is a graph of investor mood fluctuations.'
Korea's Blockchain Week resembles a K-pop concert, with female executives from exchanges dressed in performance outfits dancing the 'Staking Dance,' and project roadshows set to BTS music. There was a segment imitating (Squid Game) called the 'Death Demonstration' - while the PPT was flipping, the audience collectively counted down, and teams that couldn't finish were 'eliminated' with a bang.
In the late-night nightclub in Jiangnan District, a Korean guy shouted drunkenly: 'Crypto! Fighting!' Those who didn't know might think he was cheering for the World Cup.
The Bitcoin conference resembles a cryptocurrency fundamentalist church, where people refer to Vitalik Buterin as 'the traitor,' and they sanitize the words 'Ethereum' with alcohol. One booth was selling 'Satoshi Nakamoto-style hoodies' with a label that read 'Pre-sale, shipping in 2025.' The hottest merchandise was pressure-relief pills printed with 'HODL,' which the organizers called 'hedging financial risks.'
The most magical event was a 'Metaverse Summit' in a small island nation, where the president personally stated they would buy virtual land with GDP, and the finance minister demonstrated how to exchange bananas for Bitcoin. Later, it was discovered that the country's electrification rate was only 60%, but the white paper stated they would 'build a Web3 lighthouse.' Now their national token is worth less than bananas.
These conferences have one thing in common: hotel prices will triple. I've heard that there are teams specializing in 'pre-conference room number NFTs,' flipping them for more profit than the projects themselves; this might just be the most grounded blockchain application.
There's a pattern: the more expensive the suit a guest wears, the faster their project dies. Those truly engaged in technology wear cultural shirts, while scammers wear tailored suits. Once, I saw a 'top-tier investor' wearing crocodile leather shoes, the heels were even worn down - it seems the secondary market is indeed hard to navigate.
Currently, the most popular topic is not the technology forum but a lecture on 'How to Legally Offshore.' One morning, I saw three well-dressed Asians surrounding a lawyer asking, 'How can we structure a project that won't get us caught by China, frozen by the U.S., and still be appealing to Europe?'
When lawyers quoted their fees, they all said in unison: 'Make it cheaper, we'll issue tokens to you.'
A friend summarized after attending twelve conferences: To see if a project team is reliable, check what their booth gives away. Those offering USB drives can be talked to, those giving away power banks should be approached with caution, and those handing out adult toys should be avoided. The most outrageous was an exchange giving away a coffin with 'Hold Long-term' inscribed on it, which was actually used three months later.
At one after-party, an inebriated PR girl accidentally let slip: 'Our CEO doesn't understand blockchain at all, just knows to go all in.' Later, this company pivoted to blockchain-themed funeral services, with the slogan 'The Last Chain in Life,' and surprisingly managed to secure funding.
There is a mysterious organization called 'Conference Drifters,' which specializes in crashing various events for free meals and gifts. Old Zhang said he has collected 200 USB drives and 50 cultural shirts this way, and recently started selling 'blockchain historical artifacts' on second-hand platforms. This might be the only business model in the circle that guarantees no losses.
The most ironic was the 'Green Blockchain' forum, where private jets filled the parking lot. Guests spoke for three hours on how to save polar bears with cryptocurrency, while a carbon footprint calculator showed that the CO2 produced from the conference could power the Bitcoin network for three days.
Today's conferences resemble the K-line charts of the crypto market: in 2017, we talked about ideals, in 2018 about technology, in 2019 about regulation, in 2020 about DeFi, in 2021 about NFTs, in 2022 about crashes, in 2023 about revival. Now everyone has a unified script: 'We focus on underlying infrastructure.'
Translated, it means: 'Don't ask, I don't know what I'm doing either.'
There's a truth: Whenever someone solemnly announces 'major good news' at a conference, it usually means a crash is coming. Those who really make money are hiding in the bathroom stalls, calling: 'Yes, now, liquidate everything.'
Recently, the 'AI + Blockchain' conference has become popular. A project showcased a 'smart investment advisory robot,' which turned out to be a Turkish customer service outsourcing team. When discovered, they defended themselves saying, 'This is decentralized AI!' The audience applauded - at least they honestly showcased the human part.
A conference bug told me the identification method: Observe the handshake posture of the guests. Those with a firm two-handed grip are true tech geeks, those with a single-handed casual grip are just there for appearances, and those using blockchain gestures are scammers. The most skilled is the 'air handshake,' waving at thin air; it's said that those who master this can issue air coins.
At one conference’s lottery segment, the prize was a physical Bitcoin, gold-plated, weighing three kilograms. The winner almost threw their back out; this might be Bitcoin's 'heaviest' moment.
Ultimately, these conferences are like real-life NFTs in the blockchain world: form over content, consensus determines value. When you scan in at the registration desk to receive your souvenir, perhaps consider - this might be the farthest you are from 'decentralization.'
After finishing this article, I received seven conference invitations, six of which had 'disruptive' in the title, five used 'revolution,' and four promised to 'change the world.' The most down-to-earth was a local investment promotion meeting: 'Free meals, reimbursed travel expenses.' You see, blockchain has educated us for three years, only to find that the real economy is the most reliable.
TOKEN2049 Dubai 2025 Event Preview
TOKEN2049 brings together over 4,000 companies, more than 200 exhibitors, and over 200 speakers, forming a community that defines the future of cryptocurrency. Please check the latest speaker announcements, pack your bags, and head to Dubai - we look forward to seeing you!
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