As a parent, it’s crucial to realize that when your child "lies," it might not be about dishonesty—it’s about *safety*. So many times, we see kids hide the truth because they’re protecting themselves from the response they fear will come next. But what if the real issue isn't their behavior, but how we, as adults, make them feel?
Think about it. How often do we tell our children, "Tell me the truth" or "Be honest"? And yet, how often do we *punish*, *yell*, or *shame* them when they don’t give us the answer we want? When truth feels like a threat, it won’t be long before they learn that lying is the safer option.
The challenge is not just to correct the lie, but to create a *safe* space where honesty is the only choice—not out of fear, but because the child knows they will be accepted and understood. And no, it’s not about endorsing lies—it’s about understanding that when they feel threatened or scared, they close off. But when they feel safe and seen, they’ll open up to your guidance, even if it’s uncomfortable.
Your child’s brain is still developing. They don’t think the same way adults do. So while we may assess them based on their *thinking brain*, what we should be paying attention to is their *feeling brain*. Are they feeling safe? Or are they feeling shame, guilt, or fear?
A child who feels loved, heard, and accepted—even in moments when they make mistakes—will be able to take in your teachings, your values, and your direction. But when shame and guilt cloud their mind, nothing you say will stick.
So parents, here's the reminder: *play the long-term game*. It’s not just about correcting behaviors in the moment. It’s about creating a culture of trust, respect, and safety where honesty isn’t feared but embraced.
Be intentional in how you make your child feel. This is how you build a foundation where truth *naturally* thrives.
Let’s get real about this. 💥👨👩👧👦
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